You are smart. You know that life - no fairy tale. But recognized - somewhere in the depths of your subconscious still lurk romantic images of Cinderella, or maybe Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman." Perhaps these images are vague and slightly outdated, but you can still imagine the silhouette of a bride and a handsome prince uvozyaschih her into the sunset on his horse.

In real life Disney fairy tale which often turns out to be like a Wes Craven horror film - and you find yourself in the role of the protagonist, who has to fight for his life. Recognize marriage - not for the faint of heart. Maybe you still prefer to believe your pure love for each other will save you from trouble. However, because, again, it happens only in fairy tales.

The situation is not very pleasant, but do not forget that sometimes it is the most prosaic side of marriage, it is best to teach you to understand yourself, your partner and the nature of love. There are many things which should be ready in a marriage - and even then not at all ideal, and not like a fairy-tale story of the union is successful.

1. You will look at the person next to him and thinking, 'This is it, the one, the only one? Forever? "

Marrying women believe that by choosing the "right" man, a soul mate, they will be happy until the end. However, one day you wake up and realize that no matter how good it may be, it does not make you happy every minute of every day. Moreover, there are days when you do think you rushed to get married. You say to yourself: "This is not something that I agree."

In fact - just that. You just did not realize that by cutting the wedding cake A wedding cake   and responding to the numerous congratulations. Then you did not think that the classic formula "in sorrow and in joy" applies not only to real life tragedy. The most severe test for a relationship - daily when seemingly monotonous cohabitation stretches every day. This is what makes us feel frustrated and it is a palpable sense of loneliness Loneliness - this is not new, or why am I still alone?   and regret - and it's not the man you have chosen, and you: that you cherished romantic fantasies about marital union in which each day will be as happy as at wedding photos. It may seem that the rejection of a beautiful dream and the need to come to terms with the harsh reality - not the most pleasant situation, but it is not. Once abandoning all sugary stories of eternal bliss, you find that the reality of marriage is far richer than what you could imagine. Yes, the marriage can be difficult, even exhausting, but full of a very special charm, it is better than any fairy tale.

2. You'll have to work harder than it has ever been

In the past, when people say that marriage - it is hard work, you have assumed that only a complex "work" in a marriage - stand it when your spouse once again forgets to lower the toilet seat. You are naive to believe that all you have to do - is to try to come to terms with some annoying habits your vote, whether perpetual habit of crunching fingers or throw dirty clothes all over the house.

If it really were that simple, the divorce rate would be much lower. As you can see, the people - not the simple creatures, and not always a man and a woman can understand each other. You have to learn to understand each other, just as once upon a time, you were taught in school geography or physics. And marriage does not mean that everything has been studied - it is only a new level, because every time you think you finally learned all about the partner, it will be a little change - just like you. This work is in the marriage - is the search for compromises on the path of growth and development of two completely different personalities.

3. Sometimes you will fall asleep evil (and wake up angrier)

Whoever decided to advise the newlyweds "Never go to bed without making peace," he probably does not know what the real situation in the bedroom where tears and recriminations - is not uncommon. Instead of solving all problems during the night, as the night's sleep - you need to calm down and look at things sensibly.

A small, long only a one night break in the odds can help you determine your exact feelings - perhaps because of a quarrel not throw garbage on time actually caused by the fact that you feel undervalued. Maybe you just had to throw out negative emotions caused by the troubles at work, the one who was next. Without a small time-out even the most sensible arguments can become infinitely repeated recriminations, memories of old grievances and only aggravate the situation.

Even if you can not remember the past grievances and sober look at things in a dispute, some marital dispute can not be solved in a few hours before bedtime. And if you repress their true feelings, only to be reconciled before going to bed, the marriage will suffer even more.

4. You will think that a lack of sex - it is normal

Periods without sex - a natural part of married life. The lack of sex - not a sign that you have lost interest in each other and will never have sex, it only means that in any given period of time the dream turned out to be more important than sex.

You should not deceive ourselves - couples having sex much less often than you would think, based on the standards of pop culture. Instead of worrying about the lack of sex and take regular sex as a kind of a rule of a successful marriage, to be followed, try to find your own rhythm.

The thing is that, even in the absence of a link between sex partners is - touching, kissing, hugging bind them no less than giddy sex.

5. The private view is not as important as the overall view of things

When it comes to certain differences, it is impossible to determine who is right and who is not - there are only two different points of view, each of which is somewhat correct. It is not necessary to divide the world into black and white - in the lives of a lot more gray, it is a compromise, the price of which will have to learn in marriage.

The more you appreciate your spouse for what it is, the more you respect his position. This does not mean that you will always agree with him - but the easier it will be to find a compromise that will satisfy both. Instead of constantly point to his wife that he was wrong, and try to understand his point of view. Once you truly accept his view, it would be easier to understand and your point of view.

6. No marriage is not without quarrels

Whatever may be the ideal relationship between a man and a woman, no marriage is not without strife - in fact, sometimes the conflicts are as necessary as the search for compromise solutions. Quarrels, not only do you raise your voice, but also raise the real - often hushed up - a problem that must be addressed in a marriage. These arguments do not destroy a marriage, but rather to strengthen relations and understanding between spouses.

7. You will realize that you can only change yourself

In the film, the distant 1987 "How to create an ideal" heroine Ann Magnuson received a unique opportunity to create the perfect man - robot, played by John Malkovich, she has managed to turn into a man, accorded with her conception of the ideal.

This possibility at heart dreams, perhaps every woman - and most of us believe that we can change the person we love, make it a little closer to the ideal. Sometimes, in an attempt to change the partner women resort to not the most pleasant way - tantrums and ultimatums, but remains convinced that doing the right thing.

Whatever the motive, the ultimate goal, by and large, still unattainable - turn in the ideal adult man change his habits and attitudes that were formed over decades, is almost impossible. And one day, sooner or later, you will realize that it is much easier to change is not a man, but rather how you perceive his actions.

8. face to face with their fears and weaknesses, you will realize what a

Many of the problems in the marriage - the opportunity to look at ourselves; it is difficult to accept, but it is much better to admit your fears and weaknesses than to constantly run away from the problem, blaming the other side. Self-knowledge - one of the most valuable rewards long-term relationships: you learn to love your strengths and manage your weaknesses, as well as learn to appreciate the strengths of your spouse.

Marriage is full of difficult periods and challenging lessons, to which no one can prepare you. Ultimately, however, the marriage - the best reward he will make your love even deeper and stronger than at the beginning of the relationship.

Related Articles

I am looking for a husband or the first steps on the road to marital happiness

Civil marriage: Myths and Reality

I want to get married ... but why?

Cupruzheskie relationships: how to keep its former passion