- I have a good one
- Pereroditelstvovannye children
Pereroditelstvovannye children
This term came up American psychologists. It is about those children whose parents have created conditions sverhteplichnye her children, inspired them that they are infallible, inaccessible, perfect.
So girls and boys is very difficult to find a mate. They are always looking for a decent, but could never find it. These children came to the greenhouse a dead end road. Firstly, people are inherently imperfect. Secondly, they are not able to see the advantages. They only see the flaws, they cling to details. In someone else's eyes see the slightest speck of dust in his - and not notice the log piles.
Pereroditelstvovannym children it's difficult to live: they do not get along in a group, they are not able to find compromises. They are deprived of the most precious gift in life - giving. They hide everything for themselves, and eventually lose everything and remain with nothing.
From the fact that the representatives of the opposite sex are people, both women and men, fit with distorted yardstick relations are distorted. From the distorted relationships they cause each other very painful blows. And in the end, it secured the fear of the opposite sex.
Very good for this category of people written in the book of American authors "When parents love too much."
Negative experiences
Another massive reason not to enter into relationships with the opposite sex - is a failure in previous relationships. This failure may be related to the first reason, then the bad experience of family relations threatens to become a chronic disease. There could be other reasons for their mass, but the result is one: a man, like Pavlov's dogs, entrenched reflex marriage - is bad. Most had never married (not marry)! To marry - it hurts.
To help yourself, you can use several methods. For example, technology transfer negative experience into a positive outcome. This technique is very simple. I invented it, in all probability, a lone traveler Robinson Crusoe. Though, probably, it was known before his tragic shipwreck.
Remember Robinson Crusoe drew little plus and minusiki decorating his lonely life.
It looked like this:
I had an accident - minus, but survived - plus.
My ship crumbled to pieces - minus, but I typed these chips of wood on the fire - a plus.
All things were drowned - minus, but keep the whole chest with a mass of necessary things - plus.
My island is uninhabited - minus, but it's hot and you can walk naked - plus. And so on in the same spirit.
It is important that the pros were not less than minuses. A better - more. Then negativity of past relationships in our minds away, and new relationships we are no longer afraid.
Another good reason to be one:
Building relationships - all great art. You must try every day. To think through all the details. It's complicated. Being single is always easier. Do not reckon with anyone. No need to coordinate their actions. Wanted - he rushed to the cinema or theater. Wanted - went to bed. Wanted - stood. Nobody bothers. No flickers before his eyes. Do not think of what to say, what to do. Do not strain. A strain in relations accounts daily. Nowhere on it does not get. Being alone in the world today is easier than alone. One person is guaranteed the peace, and everything else he or she would buy for the money. But is peace of solitude
Loneliness - this is not new, or why am I still alone?
- Is the main value, worth living?
Irina Korchagin, a psychologist
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