30 years later, they returned, resuscitated director George Jungvald-Khilkevich and co. But the answer to the natural question, "Why? "Never came. Excuse "for the money" for a film with such a pedigree and completely unique reincarnation of a magnificent cast in 1978 does not pass. "Return of the Musketeers" - a comic book movie. With all the consequences: good visuals, comical, but easily recognizable characters, the lack of plot and intrigue. But if the comic book sometimes manages to make a movie Mighty, the cases of successful transformation of the opposite story does not know.

The main problem of the new "Musketeers" is that they want to appeal to all audiences at once. Admirers of the original painting is presented clone storyline with the same England, the opposition of the Musketeers and the Guards, the villain de jussac, foolish king and queen in need of assistance. Here it is necessary to add and replace Richelieu financier Colbert, and my lady has taken place for at least the active Madame de Krual. Actually, the alignment is identical to the one in "D`Artanyane and Three Musketeers." And it's alarming, agree.

Premonition fails. The plot of the new picture almost duplicates the old. Four Musketeers children received an assignment from the Queen of France to England (in other countries does not exist, apparently) to find treasures of Cardinal Mazarin. What exactly took an Italian prelate and Catholics in Protestant Albion, writers somehow not bothered, so the viewer to think about it is not necessary. In addition to the envoys of the Queen on the treasure hunt are two competing companies: Krual with Captain de Leon guards and Jesuit monks. The latter, however, are more interested in not wealth, and the ring of immortality, which is also somehow miraculously appeared at Mazarin. By the way, the ring - this is obviously a nod toward tolkiyenistov and "Lord of the Rings."

In the first half of the film, almost all the old characters die. Athos, Porthos, Aramis, D'Artagnan, de jussac, Mazarin. They are together in the next world, where beholding misadventures competing factions. As usual, the first evil wins. We have to ask for time off at the Musketeers office of heaven.

Friendly Four regaining flesh. To balance on the ground and delegated de jussac. And in time to come to the aid of Madame de Krual. After all, is the son of Captain Leon Porthos, what a brave trooper did not know. However, the father corrected this injustice, at the same time introduced a native of Leon sister Angelica. As it is similar to Indian cinema.

It does not hurt the film's creators and fans of martial arts. The Jesuits show Chinese kung fu, like somewhere intersect with the monks of Shaolin. And by the way, also a nun Angelica puts a couple suprotivnikov effective methods from the same arsenal, casually turns somersaults.

We have not been forgotten and the audience, so to speak, with exotic inclinations. King Louis admires the 12-year-old girl, and a son of Aramis declaration of love offspring d'Artagnan, without knowing exactly a man or a woman. Dumas has long been openly sorry.

Reunited, the musketeers and their children, as usual, all won and, for the umpteenth time, saved the honor of the queen. Leon wanted to change the uniform of Guardsman cloak Musketeers. Queen blessed union of the son of Aramis, and d'Artagnan's daughter. Son of Athos somehow killed and daughter Porthos ate his fill of ham. Porthos himself for some reason, took off the wig in the picture, and D'Artagnan's lips kissed the queen, what finally blew. From farce turned banal banter.

Alas, it did not take place and the return of the Musketeers without quotes. Such indifferent Athos and Aramis, we do not know. Such replays d'Artagnan seen. This boring Porthos imagined.

Children Musketeers - a joke people responsible for casting. Long Longshanks Raul is less than the twice Butter Angelica and the growth of somewhere between cheap popular handsome Henry and Jacqueline corner. But the heroes of the convening in 1978 looked good together, complement each other, while maintaining the individuality and, as is typical, fairly accurately matched prototypes created by Dumas, which once again would like to apologize for our Russian cinema.

  Alexey Chernov