Usually divorced man Divorced men: the advantages and disadvantages of relations   It is quite a lucky man, who shrugged off his load of family life and the associated liabilities, and went to the free swimming, or in the arms of the younger than the former wife Former wives: the strategy for the new darling of Conduct , Beauty. Many men and women think that everything is just so. However, psychologists are constantly coming divorced men suffering from severe stress, and often depressed by this, and recognize that divorce has led to the collapse of all plans, the emergence of a strong fear of the future, and even loss of sensation of the integrity of the self.

Single and happy - this is just a myth

Picture of happy divorced men crumbles upon closer inspection as a house of cards. Firstly, the initiators of divorce often are not men and women - this is the statistics in Russia and in many other countries. The exceptions are the Islamic state, but there is a procedure of divorce and its socio-economic consequences are very different from those in the Western world. Secondly, although financially cope with divorce men better than women, psychologically it is difficult to cope with the consequences of changing the status of the whole lifestyle. According to polls, the majority of divorced men recognized that divorce was for them a lot harder than they expected.

Apparently, men are not very adapted to living alone Loneliness - this is not new, or why am I still alone? Especially those who lived for several years in marriage. Statistics show that divorced men are eight times more likely to commit suicide than divorced women, and the likelihood of developing depression or heart attack in men after divorce two times higher.

The first reaction of men to complete the marriage is usually anger (this - the first stage of bereavement), and often it is directed at himself. Many men after divorce begin to drink more and smoke, someone even appear bad habits that were not there before. Often they are too quickly develop new relationships that will soon come to an end - not least because of the psychological state of a man, and this leads to new disappointments, stress increases and the likelihood of serious consequences as a result of self-destructive behavior increases.

In our culture, a man appears to a man who does not need to be happy and permanent relationship even more so - a marriage, it does not require a deep affection, understanding, caring. We believe that women need this marriage, and men agree to join him under the influence of public opinion, stereotypes, and other factors. With the same attitude to marriage, many men live for years with their wives and children, and if the wife is still decides to get a divorce, finding that marriage is, it was also necessary, because without it, life has become much worse. The man sees that his ideas about themselves and what is masculine happiness appeared fundamentally wrong, and this, together with the sharp change in lifestyle can cause a lot of stress, and even severe depression.

The reasons why men may experience the divorce harder than women

• Loss of sense of identity

This item can be attributed to both men and women. If the person during the years of marriage used to be part of a family, united and cohesive way out of this family for it is tantamount to a loss of identity - at least part of it. And if women are in the majority of cases remain in his familiar role of homemakers, albeit without a husband (after all, children are still often left with their mothers), the man loses his role of breadwinner, support and "Stonewall" for his family. Whatever may have been heavy this role, its loss can be even harder. A man can continue to financially support their children, but it will still have to re-look, something to live for and to compensate for something this huge reservoir of life, which is the family, is extremely difficult.

• Loss of contact with children

Living with children in the same house, and talk to them once a week or even less - just not the same. This will tell you any divorced man. Even if the mother does not prevent the communication between father and child, and sets them against him, to maintain a close relationship with them after divorce is difficult. Contrary to popular belief, many men love their children, and their separation from them - a very difficult test. As practice shows, the easiest to tolerate divorce childless men and fathers who are able to communicate frequently with children. This helps to overcome the shame associated with the fact that the man had to "throw" children - it appears no matter who initiated the divorce took place, although if it was initiated by a woman, shame is often mixed with anger.

• The inability to share feelings

While the majority of women after divorce share experiences with many girlfriends, men often turn in on themselves, being in the false belief that they are representatives of a strong half of humanity must endure the hardships of life in silence and without assistance .  Even with close friends they can not always afford to be frank, and they, in turn, nothing they ask not to reopen wounds .  It all starts with the phrase that the boys so often repeated in his childhood: "Men do not cry" .  It is difficult to estimate even approximately, how much damage inflicted these words to men in all the continents of our planet .  Sharing your feelings is possible and necessary, but the ability to time to ask for help - a sign of intelligent and strong, not a weak man .  Those who do not want to talk about the divorce with friends, can access to psychologists - in any case, it is necessary to talk about it .  Otherwise, man will find a way to numb the pain, but it will only lead to various diseases and problems in the following respects - its apparent strength will not make anyone happier .

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