To the marriage was happy and harmonious between spouses should be friendship and passion. Of course, since everyone is different, there are exceptions: for some people enough of friendship and feelings of deep affection, but in most cases, when the passion goes away, the problem starts. One of the most common causes of breakdown in marital relations - is the lack of marital sex, satisfactory to both spouses.

Sex and physiology

Between men and women have deep differences. While some modern society smoothed in regard to sex, they remain completely clear. Unfortunately, many couples forget to take them into account when building their relationship.

Probably the most notable differences relate to the process of excitation in both men and women. Men are excited quickly, and quite easy to achieve orgasm. Peak excitation occurs sharply at them, and also drops sharply. Particularly strong men excite visual images - this is confirmed by the results of research. Therefore, viewing women in daily life photos in magazines, as well as viewing pornography played quite an important role in the lives of men.

In women, arousal slowly to reach orgasm, they need more time than men. After orgasm longer they continue to experience the excitement. When such differences is not surprising that it is difficult to spouses establish their sex life so that it brings satisfaction to both. It is important not to ignore the differences - on the contrary, having sex, they definitely need to keep in mind. The easiest way to do it is this: no matter who initiates intercourse, men should focus on how to pleasure a woman - in other words, first you need to bring to orgasm a woman, and then get an orgasm How do I get an orgasm: the volcano of passion or a little death   himself. Although it is generally necessary for women to orgasm stimulation of the clitoris, many women can get orgasm and directly during intercourse - it needs only to choose the right position for sex.

In addition, it is important to understand the psychological aspects of sexual relationships associated with structural features of the genitals in both men and women .  For men sex - anatomically and psychologically - is an external act: the roots of this particular lie in the days when prehistoric man needed to "inseminate" as many females to ensure the survival of their species .  Today, the world population of more than seven billion people in the near future, our species is not threatened with extinction because of the low rate of reproduction, and people often have sex for pleasure, not for conceiving a child, the man is still quite easy to separate sex from love .  In women it is different: for them entry into a sexual relationship means they agree to let a man into her body .  For them, it is much more than a personal act, and men need to be aware of this .  That is why it is so important for women to have an emotional connection with your sexual partner; Of course, they can have sex without the psychological intimacy, but a sex never bring them real satisfaction .  If the spouse shows indifference to the woman, ignoring her needs, not listening to her, she will inevitably be lost attraction to him .  During family conflicts woman can refuse sex to her husband, but many psychologists consider it a mistake .  In doing so, she makes it clear that she considers sex a means of influence on a man, not a process that gives pleasure to both spouses .  Experts say that sex in conflict situations is possible and necessary - often contributes to the resolution of certain disputes .  Of course, this does not apply to cases of domestic violence - to agree to have sex with her husband, who uses psychological or physical violence, should not in any case .

Women want to feel welcome, and men - to know that they are good lovers

The fact that the man married her and lived with her for many years, a woman is not enough that feel really desirable and attractive. She needs to regularly receive confirmation of its appeal, so the couple should never make their wives swap compliments, invite them on a date in a restaurant or on a night walk under the moon, give flowers, kiss and hug for no reason.

For a man, it is very important to feel classy lover Lover: the real situation : Quality of sexual life in men is directly related to their self-esteem. To self-esteem husband has always been high, women should occasionally initiate sex (what a woman "pounced" on the man after several years of marriage - the best compliment Compliments   for him), and to praise his sexual talents. If you have problems with the potency should immediately consult a doctor - there is nothing that should be ashamed.

Distribution of duties

Often women sexual appetite disappears from the banal fatigue: it is most often occurs in the family code, there are children. Therefore, the division of responsibilities is a very important factor affecting the quality of marital sex. Taking part of the work on the house itself, the man gives a woman the opportunity to sleep a little more, and sleep deprivation, as we know, has a significant negative effect on the libido.

Schedule

Another cause of problems with marital sex is a lack of time for both partners .  In fact, the reason that people do not have time, it is often the wrong plan, or simply unwillingness to bring sex into your schedule, as well as other matters .  Many people think that this will invalidate the sex element of romance, but if you do not give a specific time for it, perhaps you will have sex a couple of times a year when your holiday coincides with the release of a spouse .  Besides, romance is always possible to create with their own hands: offers candles, beautiful music, elegant clothes - a lot of options .  Several times a week, assign wife goodbye in his own bedroom, and do not be late: you might think that to delay sex and then once for the more urgent cases, it is not terrible, but if it will happen again and again, your relationship can give a crack .  Of course, your children and relatives need to be addressed, but the couple should regularly spend time alone together - without a harmonious relationship in marriage is almost impossible .

When you retire, you take care of that you will not be disturbed. Close the door to the bedroom, turn off the phone, clear away anything that might distract you - for example, a computer and a TV. In a few minutes you forget that they themselves have planned this meeting in the bedroom - believe me, it will not have anything to do with other things in your schedule.

Communication

Confidential communication between spouses is very important for the quality of sexual life. Talk about everything, including about sex, what you like, do not like the fact that I would like to try. Carefully and without judgment Hear her husband even if he fancies to share with you that you feel completely indecent, is glad that he speaks of them with you, but does not realize with someone on the side. Discuss your desire, seek compromises, experiment, and improve what can be improved.

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