How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, he asked all of us as something great Dale Carnegie, master superficial psychology. I outlined the basic women's issue would be slightly different. How to stop worrying about the peasants and begin to live with them? That is a question that each of us is looking for an answer, sometimes almost a lifetime. We all know how to seduce, to imagine why and how to behave in society, men of our dreams. One problem, where can I get it? Men are less common now than in whites and smoky smog-soaked forest parks of Moscow. It seems that ten princesses (and we women really know how to make a princess) account for one unsold valet, no more.

I have a huge amount of friends. About thirty, beauty, clever, with work - machine - flat. Plus charm, plus the desire to love. They account for a married one, which all look and think about what they need to or not. Because, as a rule, a married woman is like a long distance runner. The soap with bags at the ready, twitching because of the children and because of the lack of free time. It is never in the theater. Just do not have time. And the notorious husband works as a guard somewhere in a garage makes one hundred and fifty dollars and still demands the respect.

The question is, we need it? It turns out, yes. We agree to it. Anything, just not to be alone in old age. A friend of mine for ten years lived with a middle external and internal qualities. Its all arranged. She loved him, cook him food, just had abortions (about five, as far as I know), because he "was not ready for a serious responsibility." All this happiness, of course, was civil. And ten years tired horse. He gathered his things and left, saying that it was a good idea, but how many have, in the end, it is possible. My friend is now dreaming about how to have a baby and trying to somehow get by in this matter without men. They do not want it to look perfect. Many will say - my fault. We had to run up even in the area of ​​the first abortion. It is evident that a scoundrel.

But it is clear to us is only visible from the outside. What to do, where to take the notorious prince. Firstly, all the same it is necessary to accurately understand what you want. If you simply punch in the main document of a citizen of the Russian Federation, it makes sense to maximize understate the bar and chat with the representatives of the male, who exactly will look at you with a sinking heart. Offers received married very quickly if acquainted about the local beer. Personally, I was never this way excited. My need for love is only satisfied when the man turned out to be close to where I grow and grow. It's not about the money or the number of cars with the applicant on the relationship, even though material well-being - the first sign of inner well-being.

I often hear that the poor and the facade may hide a loving heart. But all my experience and the inner voice of protest against this. Confident man, capable of making important decisions of his life, the ones that will not make your woman do five abortions and do not turn around toward the exit when she was still a child decides to leave - these men are usually in the money. Such money, enough to at least to the restaurant to say, "Choose whatever you want, dear" and "Let's go, I'll take you home in a taxi," at least for the first time. Suppose then we'll ride with him in the subway. But he must be willing and able to make the most impression, which then allows it to do with us whatever he wants.

I respect the poor facade in only one case. When the lack of money due to the fact that a man gave all his life to some favorite cause. Well, that's his vocation - to breed new varieties of corn than he has been for a hundred dollars somewhere in the botanical gardens. Or is he - a freelance artist, unrecognized genius. In this case, you have at least a chance that your portraits will ever hang in the Louvre. This should be very comforting when you spend all his salary on canvas and paint for a loved one. I am a very warm attitude to the artists, but she could hardly keep their hands become.

Perhaps that is why I still appreciate the men and their wallets as well. All that we are ready to forgive and take in the first three weeks of dating, we will spoil the nerves rest of my life with this man. So the question is the notorious bar really are important. But even more important, in my opinion, are completely different factors and causes. It is because of them, in my opinion, destroyed a huge number of relationships. Let me start with an example. One friend of mine, a girl a standard set of advantages, with the luggage as a three year old child, met once with the man of her dreams. Tall, handsome, intelligent (he graduated from, say, MEPI). Deputy director at some sophisticated computer company. The purse full openwork. Is not this the prince? Next was a fairy tale. Wander around restaurants, a couple of years lived a civil marriage Civil marriage - it just dies? And then she gave birth. And the newly-born father was sitting with the child from his first marriage, and wiped away his tears, talking about his son. They married and still live happily.

What am I? And the fact that I was talking to his two previous wives. Yes, my friend has already become his third wife. The first two are gone, lubricating fat heel. They excitedly told me how bad they had a husband, and how intolerable to live with him. The essence of their claims briefly looked. He is terribly sloppy, always throws panties with socks. And blowing his nose into the sink with utensils. He is terribly boring. Hours can talk nonsense, from whose brains explode. He was very jealous. Follow every step. His mother! He teased and requires us to lose weight. In general, it is unbearably spoiled every few precious years of life.

You ask. He changed if he married a third time? No way. In the apartment of my friend still lying everywhere socks. If they are not collected maid they hired. When they go to Egypt, he did step it does not let go of yourself and scary jealous. At home nazvanivaet her ten times a day, just to hear her voice. For eight years, she lived with him, he told her so much about hockey, Battle of Tsushima and the new gene technology, she can roll the brains to anyone. But she, unlike previous wives always said that her husband is an angel. Still, anyone else except the angel will give birth to the son of a car? I asked her how she is suffering. And she said she did not notice. She longed for happiness, now happy. With those with whom she had a love.

Hence the question, why the same man, two women survived the tsunami, and the third is happy and cheerful. We are all different, who argues. But it seems to me that my friend just stop worrying and start living. To live with a beloved man, taking it for what it is. With all its shortcomings. With purse, education, work, and jealousy Management of jealousy , Spitting and dirty socks in the sink .  What is there to do? All of us are not without flaws .  So I'm sure that when someone says that her husband is unbearable, it means only that it did not match expectations with reality .  It is clear that men can not often in a nightmare match up to our expectations .  Go accept this, as it is an unemployed alcoholic with a residence permit in the Penza region, which in the absence of morning sober strives to deliver to you a black eye .  Here we have to run very fast, so as not to have caught up .  I'm talking about something else .  About our intransigence in the details .  About unwillingness to take men's soccer, drink with friends at the weekend, after which the favorite is creeping into the apartment on their bellies .  Or forget flowers on March 8 .  How important it is just to look him in the eye and ask: It's all because, not because you do not love me anymore .  And if the answer is: my dear, because I love you, no one has ever loved, feel free to take things as they are and be happy, because happiness - very personal, internal parameter .  The feeling that we are born within himself and which no one can take away from us . 

Tatiana Vedenskaya, author, lawyer and consultant - especially for the "Women's Club"

Publisher "Stolitsa-Print" 2005 is already on sale in Moscow TD

Women's happiness too fragile. The heroine of the novel, Olga Petrova left alone with two children, no money, and work with a bunch of problems. She has an age-old question "What to do". And she decides it, maximizing the chances that gives a woman modern Moscow. Not much time it took heroin to realize not only the housewife burdened with complexes and children, but also a smart, young, sexy woman, able to move mountains and change lives for the better. Although there is no suitable for all prescription female happiness Female happiness - at everyone? Olga Petrova found her and is willing to share it with you.