Since more than half of marriages around the world end in divorce, it is important to look at the mistakes in marriage, divorce analyze the causes that lead to the disintegration of relationships.
Treason
Many spouses say if their partner will change them, they end the relationship. Although not everyone thinks so. Some are willing to forgive infidelity
Treason: Fall or loyalty to yourself?
However, many believe that they could not do it. Even those who believe that will stay with your partner, not easy to restore trust. Anyone who has changed, can repent, but the one who changed, often feels betrayed so that it can not cross over it, and continues to punish their partner for pain, resulting in crumbling relationship.
Cheating
Some understand by deception only those cases when they are told deliberate lies, not counting fraud concealment of the truth. Others believe a lie all that can hide the truth, even if the lie is spoken aloud. For many, marriage must be built on absolute trust. If it is undermined, some can not continue the relationship.
Addiction
Many can not forgive the addictions of their spouses, especially if at the time of the marriage of addiction was not known, or it was not. These preferences include drug and alcohol abuse, gambling and pornography.
Violence
Most people claim that if a partner begins to beat them, or to use physical or sexual violence to their children, then the relationship ends. While many people prefer to stay in a marriage in which there is physical violence, many do not allow to use them or their children to do so, especially those who have promised to love them.
A significant change in priorities
People grow and change, sometimes they grow together and develop in one direction and sometimes move away from each other. There are people who never change while remaining the same, and after fifty years of marriage. The problem that leads to divorce, may be a situation where one or both spouses have changed their priorities in life in a way that is not acceptable to their partner. This may be a change of religious beliefs, or that the work or the children are more important than marriage, or new friends or relationships.
When people marry, they expect that their loved one - the one they know best, the one who always lean on. When something undermines this confidence, relationships lose their strength. The ability to trust her husband, count on it, as well as the predictable behavior of spouses is necessary for a healthy, happy relationship.
Wrong motives for marriage
Many divorced women say that the problems that led to the divorce existed from the beginning, but they have already spent a lot of money for an upcoming wedding, and everyone around expected that they will live happily ever after, or had some other reason. Remember, as long as you do not say "agree", there is still time to reconsider.
The lack of individuality
Codependent relationship - it's an unhealthy relationship. If you do not have self-interest or the ability to express themselves outside the relationship with your spouse in a marriage in trouble. If you do not want to do anything without your partner, or you do not know what kind of music, movies, or food you like, most likely your marriage will sink.
Neglect of the roles of husband and wife
When children are born in a family, many parents soon forget that they are - a husband and wife. As children grow up, and require less attention, husbands and wives discover that they moved away from each other, and can not remember why they were all married, as they no longer have anything in common.
Laziness
People do not want to work in a marriage. There is a false belief that marriage itself will make you happy. Women planning a beautiful wedding, and married, not having the slightest idea of what it is. Men find a partner, which will be taken care of, and after a while discover that it is always something missing.
What happens when both lost illusions? They begin to look for problems in your partner, rather than ask themselves: "What can I do to improve the situation? "
It is easier to blame the spouse or the marriage as a whole than to take responsibility for the way you yourself live in a marriage, and what can be done to marriage flourished. People are too lazy to learn to communicate and to put in the necessary work of marriage. Marriage requires a lot of effort, and if you're not ready for that day to work on it, it will not be long lasting.
Lack of communication skills
People simply do not know how to talk to each other, and even fewer know how to listen. The most important conversations that may be - is the talk between spouses, and yet they have made very little effort to wisely express their feelings and willing to listen to your partner.
Spouses are also often try to avoid a showdown, because they are afraid that it will hurt them or partner. But if you can not communicate, you can not solve the problems in the marriage. The easiest way to build trust in the marital relationship - through open and honest communication. If you do not speak and listen, there is no hope.
Unjustified expectations
Both men and women have high expectations from marriage. When the marriage does not justify these expectations, the problems begin.
Expectations spouses rarely correspond to what actually happens in the marital relationship. For example, the society teaches women that men want sex, it's second nature, and that in a marriage, you must expect that the husband will want to engage in sex with you.
But in reality, not all male sex is so important. If a woman who is married to such a man, expects his sexual desire, of course, the marriage will be a problem that can lead to divorce.
If a man before marriage spoke about his attitude to sex, women may not come to marry him, or at least would know what to expect from marriage with this man. Communication to a marriage can save the couple from unrealistic expectations.
So, the divorce can be avoided if both partners are willing to work on their marriage, learn to communicate effectively, and do not have unrealistic expectations.
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