Many parents have to shout to be heard ... And if you try to communicate more safely? Tips child psychiatrists.

Understand your child's desire

The protest is part of the normal development of each child. He will constantly check the strength of the parents and out of balance. The child learns based on the prohibitions of his father or mother. Consequently, he quickly learns these prohibitions, which ensure the welfare and safety. The child resists ban, she refused to follow him, but ends up accepting the practices set by his parents.

It is useful to repeat many times the same rules that the child they really remember. It is also important not to give in, otherwise the baby will understand what the weakness of the parent and can easily bring it to a white heat.

• Decoding baby screams

So, if he persists in his disobedience, he may transmit a hidden message: "If the behavior does not change, in spite of your many screams punishment and explanations, then you do not understand what is for me the benefits of such behavior, much more stronger than your reprimands. " For example, if a younger child often screams, snarls and delays on all the attention at the expense of the brothers and sisters, so he tries to win a special place in the family.

• The need for rules

Despite the fact that all normal parents always loved to please your children, you need to set boundaries. Parents do not need to beat yourself up for what they punish the child, it is important for its future. One of the tasks of parents - as far as possible to give the baby gently on the principle of representation of the real world: it is impossible to do everything that I want, when I want. The child is not only satisfies his momentary desire, but also trying to break the boundaries go beyond. Parent support child rearing in it ability to tolerate frustration generated by reality.

Better communication

Parental anger is often expressed in vague, incoherent, contradictory words. In order for a child to understand that the designation usually is not discussed enough to follow a few guidelines:

• the phrase should be short, imperative; the complexity of the speech should be related to the child's age;
• you must speak clearly and distinctly, without breaking into a cry;
• Avoid the conditional: it provokes bickering;
• it is important to look at each other: the child will understand the meaning of anxiety and emotions, seeing them in the eyes of a parent;
• you need to make sure that the child listens carefully: make sure that he interrupted his studies and monitor his reaction;
• there is no point in pronouncing disparate mixture does unrelated reasons: pedagogical value is lost in this process;
• if the child behaves well, praise and encouragement from parents will help him cope with frustration and do not require immediate implementation of their desires.

The child does not listen to what to do?

If the parents are hesitant or unable to designate clear rules help the system of four steps: message, repetition prevention, punishment.

First you need to clearly say generally use plain and simple words: "Alex, turn the console, you already played." If the child has fulfilled the requirement, it is necessary to praise him for what he obeyed.

If the child continues to play, it is necessary to repeat themselves, without changing the essence: "Alex, I asked you to turn off the console." If in this case the child will listen, it must also be commended.

Then you need to tell the child about what would happen if he did not obey, "Alex, if you do not turn down the console, I turn it off myself, and tomorrow your friends will not come to us for lunch."

If that is not enough, still fulfill the promise.

If a child provokes a parent, the best response is to ignore his behavior. To provocation took place, provoked needs. Parents should try not to be. To do this, you can go to where the child can not walk, and wait until the storm subsides. The child's behavior will soon improve.

What should be the punishment

Most parents are afraid of punishment only, but not punished. However, it depends on whether the children follow the rules and respect their parents. Some threats is not enough, because they are fast becoming commonplace, "erased". If the threats are not carried out, they lose their effect.

In order that the punishment was really effective, it must be properly formulated. Preferred punishment in the near future: reducing play time, walks. Also, punishment must be proportionate to the faults of the child. Each should have its own "measure of gravity" of penalties. Do not punish the child is the same because he wanted to watch TV longer and that he hit a parent. Seeing a graduated system of penalties, the child will understand that there is a difference between different types of undesirable behavior.

These rules allow the punishment to a child guidance. However, the principles that apply in the upbringing of the child, should not interfere with his love.

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