- Broken Heart: Steps to recovery
- Advice
Broken heart - is most often the result of unreasonable expectations of the parties. But no matter how painful it was in this period of life, we must be able to take yourself in hand and find an attractive alternative to help cope with emotions.
Reasons why couples break up, a lot. Perhaps familiarity with the parents did not go as expected. Maybe one of the lovers were the expectations that others simply could not justify. Or, perhaps, one of the parties begins to feel concern for where relations are moving, or what to expect from their partner.
Reasons for Heartbreak
There are many reasons for which people converge. Perhaps they need to fill the void in his life. Do people feel such a need, or not, one of the two can continue to see the world through rose-colored glasses. In this case, two people can stay together longer than they should.
If people's expectations are unrealistic, it can also doom the relationship to fail. Some want certain things, they do not find a partner and start trying to fix it, and create it these qualities. Pretty soon the two begin to be indignant and offended: like a man trying to fix it, and the one who does it.
Some people are confused as to the proximity of care. Sometimes, the person on the back patting or hugging him, you show more care of him than if join with him in an intimate relationship.
Who suffers more because of a broken heart - men or women?
Men are more likely to commit suicide due to lost relationships than women do. If they formed an attachment, they grieved the gap if it is not on their terms.
Women are easier to perceive the gap. Women are more sensitive to their own emotions and know when a relationship comes to an end. It does not occur to them like a bolt from the blue.
In addition, women have more people with whom they can talk. They can talk about their experiences hairdresser, aunt, even the taxi driver. Women can cope with the rupture of relations, but they never stop to compare themselves with the woman, to which leaves their partner.
Heavier than those who cast. If a person is thrown, his self-esteem suffers.
If the cause of discord in the relationship that the partners are physical or emotional abuse, the other partner must be the initiator of the gap. It is best to leave by mutual consent. Each partner should feel that he or she is then carried out of this relationship. But those who drop out, usually greater than trying to figure out relationships, and receives from the gap more.
In fact, how painful will be a gap, and how long is the recovery period, influenced the history of relations and age. Those who drop out, feels the victim and the victim held more painful gap.
It is necessary to take into account that if two people can not get along, it does not mean that someone of them that something is wrong.
How to cope with the rupture of relations
When a relationship ends, it is a kind of death. At this time you need to be gentle with yourself. We must try to gather all your thoughts and ask yourself what you would do differently next time?
When the heart is broken, shall enter into force five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression
Depression
, Adoption), but some of these steps can be swapped, or the person can "jump" through some of them. These steps do not always end quickly. Some people are going through a stage of anger for years.
In the end, as it is impossible to resurrect a dead person, so it is impossible to do with relationships. Some find a replacement partner departed immediately after the break. More often it happens to men, women are usually some time grieving.
Psychologists do not recommend throwing in the pool with his head immediately after the relationship ended. Do not start looking for a mate the next day. Let some time, everything remains as it is. You should be able to extract from the situation some conclusions, say goodbye, and then move on.
Here are some tips that can help you if your heart is broken:
- Listen to music. Music helps to think. It is not recommended to listen to songs or music that evoke memories of your partner or about the time you spent together.
- Keep a diary. For some, this may sound as an obligation for others to vent. Some even turn to poetry.
- Share your feelings with others. If you utter his thoughts aloud, and hear them, it can help. As for the advice of friends, you need to let them know what comments to help you, and what - no. If a friend tells you something like "It does not cost you" or "I always knew she was a bitch," which means that while they were not honest. No one knows what is really going on between two people. Such comments usually do not help. You can tell your friends about it. In addition, each of the two should take the half of his guilt when it comes to breaking.
- Get out of the house. Call someone to go together, for example, in the movie.
- Use physical touch. Replace sex massage.
After a break in a person's life a void that must be filled with something. This void was once filled with possibilities, joy expectations. If your heart is broken, you need something to do. But healing must pass some time. If you do not have that time has passed, perhaps, the relationship means to you is not much.
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