"And they lived happily ever after and died in one day ..." - to Unfortunately, this usually end up interesting stories, but rarely-offensive - usual life. In this very life anything can happen: the sadness and joy, hopes and disappointments. Sometimes even tears, as if we do not want them thinking at first relationship. At first everything is fine, then all OK, and then someone goes and remains the emptiness and frustration, and hope that in this world "halves" is more than two ...

Alas, even the bonds of Hymen can not always insure us from painful rupture and subsequent divorce. When the marriage itself is becoming obsolete and breaks, we have a hard time, that's a fact. But most of all, we do not suffer, and those who are to blame for the least and the least understood. The hardest of all accounts our children, who often begin to blame yourself that mum and dad More do not like each other.

In order that the child did not feel guilty for the mistakes of others and was not unhappy, divorce should be approached very seriously. No, I do not I recommend to stay together for the children, because sometimes such relationships only all the burden. You do not need to make concessions and to try to bring back bygone I love, but you must do everything so that the child does not see the parents hatred that knew he could count on each of you.

Most children respond to divorce is very painful for They are one of the most devastating stress. Especially painful experiences In the first months, the child may even worsen health appears apathy behavior. However, a divorce can be for the child and a seminal event. AT if adult human being agreed on terms of a divorce and both support the child. This test helps children understand the place they occupy in the life of the parents. If adults continue to care for the child, despite the differences between them, it says, what it means for them lots of.

Additionally, parental divorce gives the child to understand that love does not last forever, and its end - not the most terrible tragedy in my life. After It can and must live on. Parting often make us stronger, affecting the formation of the personality which is stronger than a harmonious relationship. Child must understand that, if by any chance in his life such a situation arises, she knocks it out of the rut.

The child needs to be said about the divorce as soon as you make it a tough decision that he felt that it considered and could ask questions. You must explain to the fumes that are not his parents parted, but just husband and wife, that once you have been a couple, but now they are no longer happy with each other and see no reason to pretend that all is still. Do not tell the child, that you no longer love each other, or he will be afraid that you can fall out of love and his.

In general, try to use the most neutral wording, not to hurt the feelings of children. If a child will ask, that a problem arose, and it was not possible to solve them, try to answer calm, do not start blaming each other. It is important that you do not go too the details, because the child is difficult to understand the subtle mechanism of relations and cooling.

If you find a divorce takes place it is difficult, hard for you about it speak honestly admit it children. Let them explain to an adult not involved conflict (better - a family friend, mother-in-law and father in law to be too subjective).

At the time of divorce, you should spend a lot of time child, not to give him to withdraw into themselves and suffer guilt. Many children begin to blame his parents' divorce and can not get rid of it oppressive feeling of many years. To avoid this, you should take care of baby, calm him.

If the child does not ask questions, he gave no sign that upset, try to stir it. Silence can hardly lead to something good, rather - form a mental trauma, which then will you decide not to, as a psychoanalyst. Therefore, if a child is silent, start a conversation themselves and try to answer it possible questions. Then he will understand that we need, it is important that life goes on.

After a divorce, do not let the children a lot of time longing for former life. It is better to underline to them the benefits of change. Get old habits, obzavedites new friends, create a new joint hobby. And most importantly, if you live with the mood that life continues, the child, too, sooner or later, they will catch and will be able to move forward.

Anastasia Krainer

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