Adultery can destroy even the strongest marriage, and leave behind only resentment, guilt and anger. Save relationship after infidelity is extremely difficult, but with the support of family, friends, and sometimes - a psychologist, it is possible to do this. Of course, in many cases, cheating is too strong impact, and the couple did not even think about how to save your marriage. However, any decision on the future of the marriage need to be taken calmly, and not under the influence of emotions. Therefore, both sides need to start to think about the causes of infidelity, and that is worth to save the marriage.

A few facts about adultery

• Most of the men who change, still love their wives. Usually, adultery occurs when the love between husband and wife becomes less passionate and more friendly. In such circumstances, not only women, but men often do not have romance. They continue to love their wives, but sometimes it can be difficult to cope with the craving for new experiences, and they decide to commit adultery.
• Most men change with the women they know. Approximately 60% of extramarital romances begin at work, in other cases, the mistresses of married men are their old friends, former classmates, neighbors, and so on.
• Sometimes men believe that cheating can save a marriage. They do not know how to cope with problems that arise in a relationship and find an outlet outside of marriage. Getting a lover is something that he can not get his wife, a man truly believes that change helps save the marriage - and really, everything can be fine as long as his wife did not know about the change.
• Men are ashamed of their betrayal. Contrary to popular belief that men did not alter the tormented conscience, they feel a sense of shame for having betrayed the man which should take care that their loves and trusts them. Psychologists say that many men regret about infidelity, according to their mistakes, and claim that they would not change if they had the opportunity to change the past.
• Women are more likely to fall in love with men with whom they change. Men really can change, without feeling anything to his mistress that simple sexual desire; infidelity women often do not have as much physiological as psychological background. Therefore, women who had decided to commit adultery, most men fall in love, and in the end, leave the family.
• Women are more likely to change due to the fact that the unhappy marriage. According to polls, only 36% of women to change their spouses, recognized that happy or very happy in marriage. In comparison, 56% of men change their wives, called their marriage is happy or very happy.

Cause and effect

In adultery can be many reasons. Often the spouse - usually men - are satisfied with their marriage, but stayed late at work with a colleague, or drinking a couple of glasses of wine, a person commits a rash act. This does not justify the betrayal, but he says that people do not always change due to the fact that they are tired of married life. Much more often people do it because they want fresh impressions and strong emotions; after several years of married life, a person tends to feel welcome again, appealing to experience the excitement associated with flirting Flirting - this is serious , First kisses and sex. However, whatever the reasons for infidelity, its effects can be devastating life. Not so shocking that a person's faith in himself, in love and marriage, the credibility of the people in general, as the betrayal of her husband. Most people believe their spouse is almost unconditionally, they are building their lives, coordinating any plans for the well-being of the family, and when the husband begins to change, the person remains practically without soil underfoot. The first reaction to the betrayal is often very stormy, and when emotions calm down a little bit, a lot of people for a long time experience severe depression, they have problems concentrating, decreased performance. Despite this, it is necessary to talk with your partner about what exactly was the cause of treason. If you are not sure you can talk calmly, ask your partner to write you a letter about his views on the current situation.

Try not to take hasty decisions. Once you know about the change, it is desirable for some time to be alone Loneliness - this is not new, or why am I still alone? ; if necessary, seek support from friends or psychologist. Then, when you're more or less calmed down, you can decide whether or not you save the marriage. It is extremely difficult to give advice, because the factors that one person is the cause to save the marriage, the other can push a divorce. But in any case have to make a decision independently and not under pressure from relatives or close friends.

How to save a marriage after infidelity

• First of all, betrayed spouse should stop their extra-marital affairs. He can not work to preserve marriage if some of its energy will be given to a third person. In addition, if the partner finds out that extra-marital relationship continues, will come to a reconciliation even more difficult.
• Be prepared for the fact that after infidelity in your relationship often will be ups and downs. The man who had endured betrayal, you may experience occasional bouts of sadness or anger - especially in the early months - and experienced events and quarrel, during which it was said a lot of bad will inevitably affect relations between spouses.
• Change spouse must sincerely apologize to your partner, and promised that in the future he will not repeat his mistake.
• Change spouse should not rush things. Many people want as soon as possible to leave the past in the past, but for the "injured party," it can be much harder. It is necessary to give enough time to the partner, so that he could regain his footing. During this period, in any case not necessary to insist on physical proximity.
• Do not say forgive a spouse, if you are still angry with him. But if you forgive, never spoke of treason Treason: Fall or loyalty to yourself? And do not mention it even in quarrels - the past should stay in the past.

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