How to avoid bad dates: learn from others' mistakes

How to avoid bad dates: learn from the mistakes of others
Bad experience
Situation

the worst date

The worst thing about a date, tainted with his own: a bad experience

It is understandable why a date has turned out a failure, if the object on closer inspection turned out to be not the man for whom he claimed to be, or take it by accident. There could be many reasons: other people's photos on the personal page, lies in the letters exaggerating the merits of the object common friends wanting to create a new happy couple and much more. But it is much more painful, if a date has shown good interest turned into love, and the young man is no longer calling ...

As it is impossible to behave on a first date

Romantic date - a kind of pre-scheduled meetings, the purpose of which is more familiarity between two people like each other and is expected to further development of relations. If this is not consequential, the date can safely be considered failed. It happens when a girl it seems that everything went perfectly. Why did the guy never again called and reminded himself in any other way? Most likely, the reason is that he remains diametrically opposed to the view held meeting.

If it is - a single case, you should not get upset. Perhaps, the reasons relate only to the guy and the girl in no way to blame. It is possible that the guy was hoping with a new acquaintance to get rid of left him longing for a friend, but it turns out that he is not yet ready for a new relationship.

But sometimes when she pursues the same situation: Goodbye rarely result in something serious. Rather, it is consciously or unconsciously act according to some stereotypes that make a bad impression on young people.

She deliberately late or last minute change the place and time of the meeting. If it does not have any serious reasons, young people perceive such behavior as "antics" or evidence that the girl does not appreciate the time and the views of his partner.
The girl on a date are constantly responding to someone's phone calls or SMS. Who likes this neglect?
If during a visit she met acquaintances, it is actively communicating with them, not even bothering to properly introduce old friends and Man, which came out on a date. Of course, the young man takes it as disrespect.
She says too much about heavy negative emotions from the past. Sometimes, it really is a prisoner of depression Depression and she needs help, but sometimes it is a deliberate desire to demonstrate its originality, try to play a cinematic character "complicated story." Unfamiliar person is rarely willing to be involved in the previous complexity of the new friend. Especially if you feel in its theatrical and false narratives.
All the talk she builds around his person and any topic raised by the young person takes their problems, their experiences and examples from his own life. No one is happy if his deeds and opinions are not interested.
She constantly criticizes himself and partner, and they selected a meeting place, clearly pointing to deviations of reality from its holdings of the perfect date. In fact, if a young person "wrong" and the film is bad, and pizza Pizza: features Italian cuisine leaves an unpleasant aftertaste, it is best to simply say goodbye and leave. If young people like and it's not so bad, why turn the dialogue in "educational hour"?

Games that will inevitably spoil it

One of the most popular books on the psychology of human relations has been and remains the book by Eric Berne, "Games People Play". The idea is that living in a society, we are always consciously or unconsciously play any role. There are social roles: daughter, mother, sister, student, teacher. And there is a role that we invent ourselves, trying to take a coveted spot in the world.

Often when such a role play is beneficial, for example, the heroine of the movie "The most charming and attractive" it helped to understand the imaginary and the real desires, preferences and sympathies. And sometimes, when wrongly chosen pushes role of someone so eager to attract and inspire.

Situation one: often during a meeting with interested young man she is trying to look better than it really is . The "better" it is extremely subjective opinions of . For example, it seems that such a handsome man can captivate only the "vamp" . And she began to play the "femme fatale" . She and can not think of that "handsome" can be so only with her own point of view, and he has no idea about her fatal charm . Besides, if he wanted to meet with the "vamp", he would not have it, his classmate, but this very "vamp" invited on a date . And the young man, who liked sweet and cheerful girl who suddenly finds himself in a society some languid ladies, hints at its tragic past, rolls his eyes and host theatrical posture . No wonder he had no desire to continue the relationship . He may, and love plays, but when sitting in the auditorium, but not when he wants to talk about ridiculous trifles touched her hand, eat ice cream, and then kissed her at the door .

Second case: the girl wants to show a more sophisticated and "experienced". It examines the skeptical presented a bouquet, and once in a cafe or restaurant, Bulgakov begins to depict the cat Behemoth: used to sit, say, a table used to sit.

Even if, indeed, come and get poshikarnee bouquets, and more fashionable places to dinner, do not show this. It is unlikely that this will increase the admiration of the young man and he will add joy. It is better to pay attention to the cute and cuddly details and thank you for your good intentions.

The most paradoxical that most young girls are beginning to conduct such a ridiculous game just with older gentlemen. A man can have serious intentions, perhaps it attracted just the purity of the young beauty. He either will immediately understand that her behavior - pretending inept or even suspect in the girl are very wickedness, viciousness and vulgarity that he is deeply unpleasant.

It is best to behave naturally and friendly. Even if on the first date First date: everything is just beginning will be able to "splurge", you can not live long in a strange way, especially if you have to pretend in front of a man who is not indifferent. Do not be ashamed to be surprised: after all, this is what tends to the young man - to surprise their chosen one, that she remembered him stand out among others and gave him his favor.

Where to go with the new friends

For a successful dating is important to select the right scene. Sometimes the young man himself offers a meeting place and entertainment. But if the meeting is scheduled at the entrance to the institute, the subway or at any of the monument, then most likely, the question arises: "Where shall we go? "She often returns it to the guy, like a ball in a ping-pong table:" And where would you like me to go? "But if she feels that for some reason men do not have a ready supply or he is not sure that it is approved, it is not a sin, and take the initiative in their hands. At this point, you need to think, do not provoke any choice of an awkward situation, after which it will be difficult to continue the relationship.

At risk are pretentious and expensive places. Even if a man looks quite solvent, it is unethical to offer him the first openly fashionable restaurant. Experienced young man may suspect a partner of greed and a desire to "roll" to the maximum of its costs in the future. Inexperienced - can get into a very awkward situation when at the end of the evening will not be able to pay for dinner. Actually, in visits to expensive schools should take it a rule to agree to visit only a place where you have the potential to pay for the two existing carrying cash or card. When people know little of each other, it is difficult to accurately calculate the course of events and better protect themselves from embarrassment.

It is necessary to avoid appointments at the mall or at the entrance to the store, even if you just work there. Better still meet in the square and cafes nearby. Some guys regard approach to store, as an offer to buy the girl a gift.

Ambiguity looks inviting girls to her home. One will take it as a promise of completion dates in bed, and the other, on the contrary, suspect that it is already considered as a potential suitor and are going to introduce their parents. In addition, invited to his home unfamiliar person, generally unwise from all points of view. It is better to postpone the meeting in the home until the next stage of relations.

There is another unpleasant aspect: the couple can sometimes be the subject of drunken aggression unfamiliar company. Very rarely these cases end in a movie when Superman overcomes numerically superior enemy, threw him into a panic and flee. In real life events are unlikely to be developed so triumphant, so it's best to choose a place for walking not too far from civilization and large gatherings of people.

The girl is not worth provoking conflicts with other visitors or staff of public places. Even if the guy will be on her side and give a fitting rebuff to all, he may not be familiar with the desire to continue a "ekstremalka." The best of the date on which both remain bright and lovely memories.