Many families use different spouse - or opposite - a technique of raising children. The most common method of bad / good cop, familiar to all of Hollywood movies.

The most common role is distributed as follows: Dad is a child's best friend, protector and comforter, and my mother plays the role of a strict authority, are unaffected by the whims and complaints. Or vice versa: the father - a hard and unyielding, and his mother - a soft, everything is allowed and understand.

Is a technique of bad / good cop for education?

The role of police is better to choose? And whether it is necessary to use this technique, and it is only suitable for interrogation?

Using the methodology of bad / good cop in parenting entails two problems. First, the bad, the parents constantly have to play a role, and their behavior is limited to the scope of the role. Parents must remain themselves. The child should not see them as "police", as mentors and teachers.

Secondly, when one of the parents plays a bad cop, and the second - the good, the child gets used to perceive them only in the "line" and only separately, which gives him the opportunity to evade duties and responsibilities. For example, a child comes to his mother (good cop) and complains: "Dad made me clean the room, and I can not go with you to the store, not yet done." Or, he argues with his mother (bad cop): "Why should I clean the room? Dad told me to do it! ". If your child complains one parent to the other, or trying to do so that their instructions are in conflict, the parents should unite and not to insist on its each.

In this situation, you have to say: "Those are the rules, adopted in our family, and you have to (must) comply with them, or be prepared to (a) deal with the consequences." Saying something else to argue with the child, arguing their case, it is not necessary.

What to do?

Simply express agreement with the opinion of the other parent. If the parents adhere to a uniform methodology for training and support each other, the child will obey them - he just did not have another way out. He will have to carry out their duties and to obey their parents.

But what to do if you are against the child to follow the instructions of his father? If you do not like a rule or procedure that are established in the house of your husband? In this case, it is not necessary curves and heavy sigh. And in any case, do not discuss controversial subject in the presence of a child (and even more so do not quarrel about this, when he's around).

Just tell the child to do what he was asked, and later, when he was not around, talk about it with your other half. The agreement between the parents is very important, and it is not necessary somehow to give their dissatisfaction or disagreement - the children are very sensitive to catch non-verbal cues, they are much closer than is commonly believed. If a child sees that her mother does not agree with his father, or vice versa, it does not just raise the controversial subject in the future to strengthen the split between the parents, because individually they are easy to manipulate.

If the child is trying to evade its responsibilities assignment that he gave his father, or just complaining about it, do not join with him in a long conversation. Suffice it to say: "Do as told father. Those are the rules. " My father, for his part, must also support my mother. Then the child will grow obedient and responsible.

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