- Six ways to learn about what your child is a teenage kid you
- Emotional Blackmail
How to stop the manipulation, and to restore normal relations between parents and teenagers. If you want one word to describe the teens, we can say that they know how to put out their parents. It seems that they have a whole arsenal of ways to get what they want, while avoiding the problems and their parents enter into a rage - and all this for the sake of mere entertainment.
Adolescence can be a rather difficult period, for both children and their parents. Experts identify six main ways in which adolescents fools of their parents, explaining why they do it, and that can make mothers and fathers in order to prevent manipulation and keep the peace.
Understanding the motivation
The children manipulate their parents for various reasons: to earn the love and attention, to get what they want and feel strong. Teenagers tend to anticipate the consequences of their actions and try different things to see how they react.
There is another reason - it works. Although, often without realizing it, parents are tightening regulations that do not work and thus add fuel to the fire of conflict between parents and their teenage children.
"Steamroller"
Probably the most common form of manipulation, which is used by teenagers - a "steamroller". It can be defined as a question: Can I? Can I? Can I? And now? It is endlessly repeated the request, which can lead parents themselves, leaving the teenager get what he wanted.
Fight fire with fire, as the experts advise. Determine for yourself the ultimate hell, and for example, if your child wants to go out with friends in the park, but he has not yet made the lessons, your answer would be: You should do your homework before you go for a walk. Further discussion is needed. Keep repeating this sentence, like a broken record. So your child will be more difficult to confuse you.
You can also use the method of hours. For example: If I answer your question, I give you to understand that you are using a steamroller, then I'll look at the clock. For every minute that you continue to ask me, you two minutes before you go to bed, or less than two minutes watching a movie.
When you explain the essence of this rule, just ten seconds, hold your eyes on the clock. Your child will understand that you are not joking. That's when the steamroller approach will no longer work against you, but begin to work against your child.
Lying
Teens think if they do not tell you the truth, you will get what they want.
White Lies or omission is very common in teenagers. For example, your child alert you that is about to go to another home, but omits the fact that the other parent is not home and there will be alcohol.
As children lie becomes more refined, and it is more difficult to recognize. In addition, teens begin to share with one another made-up stories. They can negotiate with each other and tell their parents that they were going to one another, and will go entirely to the other, their story is plausible, since they both say the same thing.
Try to be aware of where your child is going and with whom, to reduce false. And when you had caught the child in a lie, once the attackers. Let him know that lying is unacceptable and for this you have the whole day forbids him to watch TV. If it repeats again, disable the TV for a week. Children need to understand that repeated offense punishable by tougher.
Response
Many adolescents provoke their parents doing something offensive or simply not doing what is expected of them (eg, cleaning my room), simply in order to avenge something. In this case, the screams and cries will not help. Do not act like a teenager, like a little child, but the same principles apply. Do not resort to anger. How can calmly let your child understand that such behavior is not acceptable. If it continues, then remind them that this will not go unpunished. Begin to restrict a child that is most important to him - telephone, TV, video games, time with friends.
Experts advise parents who give up before the end punishment, to give the phone, for example, to another house. You can call friends and ask them to hold the phone. Thus, you can tell your child that he can not return the phone, as it is with friends until Friday.
Read more
→
Emotional Blackmail
Related Articles
Harmful nail-biting and how to fight it
How to make children listen to, without raising them to vote?
How to talk with your child on sensitive topics
How to tell your child about sex?
- Oedipus complex: everything about this key moment of childhood
-
|
|
- 13 ways to feed picky eating children
-
|
|