From the moment a woman finds out she is pregnant boy, deep down she knows that someday, someday another woman would be the most important in his life. So it happens: yesterday he touches you with his talk, then he took the first steps, holding fast to your hand, and now he shaves, goes on a date, and will soon be familiar girl who you will become in-law. And everybody knows what stories are told about the relationship and daughters-in-law. But perhaps, after all, a chance to build a good relationship between them, and to make communication with the mother-in-law does not become a burden? Of course, there is a chance - that the relationship was harmonious and satisfying both sides just need to work a little on himself and his attitude towards others.

Tips-in-law

• Respect parenting style of their daughter. Even if you think that it is wrong to bring up your grandchildren - better not say anything, or let us know what their proposals only once, in a very gentle manner. Accept the fact that you are not responsible for the education of grandchildren, and have the right to interfere in the process only with the consent of your son and his wife.
• Respect the daughter relationship with her mother. In no case do not try to compete with it for the love of the bride - you lose.
• Respect relationships daughter to your son. He chose this woman, and to build a marital relationship - their problem, not yours. Do not try to convince his son that he might choose a woman and better - you also lose.
• Do not argue on behalf of their grandchildren. The chosen name does not fit well with the name? Your name is out of date or too unusual to our ears? It just does not like you? It's just your opinion and not to spoil relations with the daughter, better keep it to yourself. Whatever the name of your son and daughter in law to choose grandchildren take their choice for granted.
• Do not say daughter that she should lose weight or get better. If it is significantly gained weight since the wedding, do not give her a gym membership, or start talking about diet, and if you think it is too thin - no need to constantly feed her homemade pies Patties. Hospitable dish . She's a grown woman, and she knows how and when it monitor your body.
• Do not try to teach daughter to spend money. Everyone spends money that it considers important. You may feel that the rest of the southern countries three times a year - a waste of money, and it is important for the bride. Perhaps it seems that you're wasting money on rub regular trips to the theater and opera, but it is unlikely to ever say that. If you are satisfied with your son, his wife manages the money, then everything is in order.
• Do not lord it in her kitchen. Of course, you can and should help the daughter to prepare New Year's dinner, but do not set the jars with spices in a convenient manner, or through all the shelves and countertops.

Daughters-Tips

• Respect the relationship of her husband and his mother. No matter how you treat in-law, with her husband spoke about her well, respectfully restrained, or in any way. No need to complain about her husband and ask him to be a judge in the conflicts arising between you. Perhaps he will be on your side, but in the end tension there, because of which all will suffer. Find out the relationship with the mother-to-face.
• Remember that all grandparents - with few exceptions - to communicate with their grandchildren deserve. Furthermore, your children will also want to communicate with their grandparents - it is the only benefit. So let's take the opportunity-in-law and her husband met with his grandchildren, ideally - to spend some time together without you. Deny chat with their grandchildren in-law can only be achieved if it is their behavior endangers the mental or physical health of children.
• Chat with her mother in law just like a human - like with the mother of her husband and cousin, which by definition is set towards you critically, and just as a woman, which has its advantages and disadvantages, hobbies, history of the past, as in any of your girlfriends. This approach does not necessarily help you to make friends, but you will learn to see his mother-in-human, and not malicious relative who is constantly looking at your weaknesses.

Tips both sides

• "Borders" - is not a bad word

In fact, it is one of the best and most useful words that will never be forgotten. There is nothing wrong to set boundaries between family members - it does not divide it, but quite the contrary, helping to rally, without experiencing discomfort. Set its borders (for example, firmly ask the law does not come without warning, no calls after nine in the evening, if there was nothing extraordinary, and so on), and respect its borders.

• Put yourself in the other

When you have a conflict situation arises, try to see it from the point of view of the opponent.

• Do not assume that someone has to justify your expectations

In general, the expectations is often more harm than good, because they often prevent us from taking other people as they are. Do not expect that your daughter-in-law, or will conform to some ideal: on the contrary, try to discern and appreciate their individuality, which is sure to be interesting patterns of expectations.

• First of all think of the children and grandchildren

Looking at your relationships, they learn to build relationships. And do not think that young children still do not understand - they know a lot more than most adults, and draw their own conclusions.

Related Articles

Daughter in law: the rules of conduct in a cage with a tiger

How to communicate with relatives, some Valais

Family psychology: whether to resort to his aid?

Family quarrel - how to neutralize their destructive potential?