Confidence - it's attitude, which allows a person to positively and at the same time realistic about yourself and the situation. Self-confident people trust their own abilities, can generally control their lives and believe that they are reasonably able to do what they want. Be confident in yourself does not mean that people will be able to do everything. Expectations confident people are realistic. Even when some of them are not implemented, they continue to look at the world positively and are in harmony with each other.

People who do not believe in yourself, too dependent on the approval of others to think well of yourself. They tend to avoid risk, because they are afraid of defeat. Usually, they do not expect success from yourself. They often underestimate themselves and ignore the compliments that make them other. In contrast, people, confident, willing to take risks, not fearing the disapproval of others, because in general, trust their abilities.

Self-confidence is not necessarily prevalent in all aspects of human life. Usually people have some areas of life where they feel quite confident at the same time, other things may not be quite confident. This may relate to the appearance, relationships, and so on.

As is usually formed self-confidence

The development of self-confidence is influenced by many factors. The attitude of parents is vital to the child belongs to her, especially in early childhood. When parents take the baby, he gets a solid foundation for a positive attitude. If one or both parents are overly critical or demanding, or if they are too watch over the child, it is not encouraging steps towards independence, a child can believe in their inability, inadequacy or inferiority. However, if the parents support children's desire for independence, they accept and love their children when they make mistakes, children learn to accept themselves, and gradually they will develop self-confidence.

Interestingly, the lack of confidence is not always associated with a lack of ability. On the contrary, often the result of excessive focus on unrealistic expectations or standards of others, particularly parents or society. Influence of friends may also be strong, stronger than the influence of parents and society in formation of attitude. In his student years, there is a reassessment of values, during which friends have a powerful influence.

What else influences the formation of self-confidence

In response to external influences people develop self-image; some constructive and other harmful. Here are some ideas that may affect the self-confidence, and alternative outputs:

• Presentation: I always need the love and approval of each significant person in my life. Alternative: This is an ideal, unattainable goal. A more realistic and correct to develop personal standards and values ​​that do not depend entirely on the approval of others.
• Presentation: I have to be fully competent and successful in all important areas of their lives. Alternative: This is also an ideal, unattainable, which suggests that the value of a person depends on the achievement. Achievements can bring satisfaction, but does not make you more valuable. In contrast, value - it is an internal quality that anyone has.
• Presentation: My past is important and control my feelings and behavior in the present. Alternative: While it is true that your confidence was especially susceptible to outside influences as a child, when you're growing up, you realize that it was the influence. By doing this, you can choose which of these things you allow to influence your life. You do not need to look back at the past helpless.

Destructive thoughts

Under the influence of these harmful ideas you may receive such destructive thoughts:

• Thinking of all or nothing. I am totally amazed if you do not reach the ideal.
• See all doom and gloom. Misfortunes lurk around every corner. One negative item, a critical statement or comment dyed all black What colors combined with black: less darkness and pathos . I triple in chemistry, so I never get into a medical school.
• Exaggeration and underestimation of the bad good. Well not so much as bad. I won a chess five times in a row, but because of the loss of feel terrible.
• Acceptance of the reality of emotions. I consider myself ugly, I mean it is true.
• Excessive use of the word "should." Offers with the word "should" often reflect the expectations of others, and do not express your own wishes. Everyone should have a career plan to enroll in university. I do not, then, to me that something is wrong.
• Shortcuts. Shortcuts - this is a simplification, which is often accompanied by a sense of guilt. I'm a loser, and it's my fault.
• The difficulty in making compliments Compliments . Do you like this dress? I think it make me look fat.

  

How to avoid these thoughts

Here are ways that can help avoid these destructive thoughts:

• Emphasize their strengths. Trust yourself in everything that you're trying to do. By focusing on what you get, you applaud their efforts, rather than focusing on the result. Since their task with the simplest, you can help yourself to accept their inevitable limitations.
• RISK. Consider a new experience as an opportunity to learn rather than as a chance to win or lose. By doing so, you will discover new opportunities and be able to develop a sense of confidence. Not doing so, you will turn every opportunity into a chance to play and limit your personal growth.
• Talk with them. Talking to him, you get the ability to resist harmful ideas. Replace them with more reasonable views. For example, when you find yourself on what to expect perfect results, remind yourself that you can not do everything perfect, can only try to do something and try to do it well. This will allow you to make yourself at the same time striving for the best.
• Assess yourself. Learn how to evaluate themselves independently. This will allow you to avoid the constant feeling of panic that comes when you are relying solely on the opinions of others. By focusing on how you feel about their behavior, work and so on, you'll feel better and not be dependent on other people's opinions.

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