The ancient Greeks said, the law is harsh, but it is the law. However, the severity of the law in different ways perceive those who use it and those to whom it is applied, even if he did not write. How to treat a woman working at the next table? The woman she or a colleague? If the former, it is necessary to make love for her (at least in order not to lose the skill), and if it is a colleague, it should behave differently.

Incidentally, more than 60% after 30 years of marriage in some way connected with the work: the happy couple are the employees, the employee and the customer, etc. And how else, if even a third of life we ​​spend at work bread among the same circle of people. But this - official relations, registration of marriage or otherwise agreed. But what causes them, sometimes considered controversial. Favors, invitations to the meeting, even intrusive glances employee may be regarded as sexual harassment and apply for the offenders to court. Yes, it happens in the United States, France, Germany and other European countries.

Of course, in most cases, the victim is a woman, but a man who feels sexual harassment, has the right to seek protection of the law .  The term "sexual harassment" is quite complicated .  The fact that one does not mean anything to the other can be a grave insult or violence .  In Nizhny Novgorod, a survey was conducted of working women: 25% felt that as a form of sexual harassment can be regarded the touch (not the genitals); 30% - "undressing" views; 30% - offensive sexual conversations and jokes in the presence of women; 73% - offers intimacy; 97% - rape .  Thus, this term is considered very broadly .  But if you avoid anything that could be construed as sexual harassment, the men have to keep silent, to close our eyes when approaching women, and even require the constant presence of a lawyer at the workplace . 

How, then, to start a family, and who after 30 still single? In fact, there is a very clear criterion of sexual harassment - is undesirable for the object of the favor that he (she) have. If there is urgency in the behavior of colleagues, the irrelevance of his relationship, it may be considered sexual harassment. The biggest risk for women in predominantly male groups, where sexual harassment can be used to meet personal needs, and as a way to suspend career.

In Russia, according to a survey in 1999, sexual harassment became not less than 25% of workers. Statistics European countries does not look better - from 25 to 50% of women at least once but found themselves serving in a similar situation. What are the reasons for such behavior? They are two: the possession of power and sexual discrimination. The traditional image of a male head of pursuing a female subordinate, using the advantages of the employer. Impending unemployment, lack of career or unskilled labor, instead of a professional - all these factors make it possible to carry out sexual harassment on the basis of tangible "arguments". In addition, the increase in the number of private companies headed by young men with increased sexuality and low morals, also creates difficulties for women in the selection or save jobs.

Some of the women interviewed believed that a) the work is not conducive to sexual harassment; b) there is no need to force women to have sex at work - they do it willingly to go; c) in communities where there are at least a few women, the rules of the internal behavior was rather tight, and men do not risk dismiss his hands. The rest assured that only work under the leadership of women to protect them. More than half of women and 70% of men think that women by their behavior provoke colleagues. Unfortunately, in this situation, as in most cases of rape, shift the blame on the victim.

But the woman is not responsible for the act of a man, or is it that he can not answer for themselves, and therefore incapable. A further aspect is that men and women sometimes just do not understand each other. If she speaks politely, he can take it for promotion. It remains silent - regards as shyness, but not an obstacle. And even aggressive negative behavior of women often feel immediate reaction, while at other times, "she agreed." Feeling the object of sexual attention, many feel stress, the strength of which depends on the size of the threat of their integrity, and the characteristics of the character. Often this results in a light attack of aversion to men or severe depression Depression That requires the help of experts - doctors and psychologists. In addition, the change in outlook as a result opened new masculine traits can lead to changes in the personal lives of women. And this is a big social problem.

Not every woman will notice a change in attitude immediately. It seems that everything is going as usual, only the chief became more affectionate, says compliments Compliments . So there is a gradual habituation to themselves, to touch, to be close. Chef employment can make a gift - to raise salaries, to send a good trip, transfer to a more prestigious position, etc. When a woman imbued with a sense of gratitude, understanding its importance, it suddenly makes it clear that all of this - only advances which need to "work."

Despite the unpredictability of the situation, the same general tips:

1. Note how often you touch when it is not needed. Try to prevent such actions, without smiling or showing a sense of humor.

2. If the chief tends to stay with you in private for no particular reason, reduce the residence time with him under any pretext. If such a meeting is planned in advance, try to bring someone or to maintain control of an event by a third party. For example, you may from time to time to call. A better carry a voice recorder, which records the evidence of undue persistence chief.

3. Do not engage in sexual conversations with men and prevent them in your presence. Careless attitude to such a conversation can be interpreted as a veiled invitation to become more active.

4. Be careful when accepting any gifts from colleagues or boss. Even the smallest of them can spur the imagination of men.

5. Answer "no" to any suggestions as to easily and naturally they are sounded. "Today has agreed with a bite, and tomorrow go to bed" - this is, unfortunately, the stereotype.

6. Even if your boss elderly, do not take for innocuous behavior of his persistent attentions. In order to respect you did not carry out sexual harassment, you have to be confident.

We know that criminals "see" only those people who consider themselves a victim and are ready for this role .  So in this situation: lack of confidence, lack of a clear position, the inability to properly respond to the slightest sexual threat to put you in a position of potential victims .  So clearly make it clear to colleagues that sexual relations at work for you absolutely excluded .  You can be nice and feminine, sociable, but attempts to violate your personal space you need to stop once and for all, without hesitation .  In the case of sexual harassment by colleagues collective opinion can be a powerful argument that will force him to abandon his intentions .  But if the chief does so, the reaction of the team, as a rule, is very sluggish and indifferent .  If the institution has a trade union organization, it is necessary to address a statement about what is happening, as in the case of unjustified dismissal or punishment it may serve as a basis for initiating civil or criminal proceedings . 

If the sexual harassment is accompanied by physical violence, it should apply to the police. What happens next depends on the police authorities and your perseverance. Protection of human rights, had been sexually harassed at work can be carried out in accordance with the Criminal Code. For example, Art. 111, 112, 115 provide for penalties for causing harm, Art. 119 - of the threat of murder or grievous bodily harm, Art. 118 and 125 - if the leadership was made aware of what is happening, but do not take action. Spreading rumors and perverse organization of public opinion - Art. 129 and 130. Article 131 - if it came to rape, and if limited to other actions of a sexual nature, the art. 132 or 133 (compulsion to perform sexual acts).

If the hiring person is given to understand or speak openly, that he (she) will "combine" normal duties with the intimate, the applicable article. 240 and 241 (involvement in prostitution, organizing and keeping a brothel). In addition, under the Civil Code of the victim (s) may file a civil suit. Labor Code does not contain direct references to sexual harassment at work, but prohibits discrimination both in employment and in its framework, as well as forced labor. So, the problem of sexual harassment at work there, but there is a mechanism to deal with it. We can only give him a stroke. And this, unfortunately, is not always. Most of the women subjected to sexual harassment, hiding what is happening and suffer discrimination.

YP PROKOPENKO, PhD, sex therapist