Jealousy - one of the strongest human negative feelings arising at the lack of attention, love, respect or sympathy from the valued, loved one, while it is imaginary or real receives from him by someone else. This is a very negative and very dangerous feeling, if only because of jealousy going on most domestic crimes and even murders.

How is born of jealousy

Trust - perhaps the most important part of a good relationship. Your libido can be the same. You can have the same goals, dreams and desires. However, without trust all this is useless. Some people trust arises easily. They believe that their partner is faithful, until find that wrong. If that is the case - consider yourself lucky. Of course, from time to time you may get unpleasant surprises, but at least you give your relationship a chance to succeed.

Trusting someone - it means to give your heart in the hands of this man. It is a precious gift, and it must be solved. But there are other people. If you are already fired or your parents were wrong to each other, you can not seem to trust the partner is very silly. There are those who are somewhere in between. How to define a "healthy" level of jealousy and a time when you no longer control it?

Fine

From time to time everyone experiences jealousy. If you love your partner and you feel that someone is trying to take it away from you, flirting with him, it is normal to feel a pang of jealousy, one which usually disappears in a moment, when you calm down a little. Sometimes it just happens that you have chosen the wrong man. Imagine a "normal" person is paired with someone who frankly it provokes, and watch all the "normal" disappears somewhere and he or she becomes outrageous, excessively jealous. Sometimes jealousy is justified. If your partner likes to flirt, you changed or changed in the past - on your part would be wise to keep an eye on.

Abnormally

That's the difference between normal and abnormal jealousy really jealous man is jealous of almost every partner with whom it is found. In fact, most jealous people know that they have this problem. When they rest, they often realize that they were wrong. The problem is that when there is jealousy, you are not adequately assess the situation. Jealousy - an incredibly strong emotion. It is impossible to control, because it is powered by one unceasing thought: if I change my partner?

Jealous people look at the world through a distorted lens. They see danger where there is none. This is largely due to the self-esteem. If you're happy with yourself, you are most likely thinking, why my partner someone else, if he has me? Healthy ego - perfect protection from jealousy.

Disgustingly

Excessive jealousy - it is an ugly emotion. Sometimes people reach an extreme degree of absurdity, unreasonably jealous of her partner. A couple in which one or both partners are jealous, it is easy to calculate: they sit at home. This is the only safe place for them, because in a cafe, a restaurant, even in the store you can meet potential competitors, that is, people of the opposite sex. However, some can not even endure when their partner is looking at attractive people on television.

The saddest thing in all this is that jealousy is not only not prevent people to be wrong, in fact, it makes the change more likely. If you often accuse human affair, he once thought he had nothing to lose. Another strong fear of a jealous person is a partner that will throw it, but if this person continues to turn life into hell partner, most likely it would happen. Do not let this happen to you.

How to defeat jealousy

First of all, you need to understand what makes you jealous. Find out what is the reason: in the complexes, in your childhood, in your past that you are changed, or around together? If the answer is not so obvious, try to think further: for example, your girlfriend's heart was broken because of the betrayal Treason: Fall or loyalty to yourself?   partner. Work is also on his self-esteem: the better you feel about yourself, the less likely that you will find that your partner jeopardize your relationship.

Finally, you need to change your behavior. To do this, do the following exercises:

• Whenever comes to mind jealous idea, write it down and to evaluate its effect on a scale of one to ten. For example: my boyfriend cheating on me with a girl from work: nine (I'm sure it's true).
• Under this proposal, write all the reasons why you believe it's true or not true, no matter how stupid they sound. For example, he often works late, he put on his favorite work pants.
• Wait two minutes and some linger in a state of anger or frustration. Intention to remain in it until all suspicious thoughts do not come to the surface, and write them down.
• Wait a few minutes, but do not try to get out of the state of anger and calm down. Take a deep breath, remind yourself about how you feel after the last attack of jealousy (unreasonable). Then force yourself to check each of your recorded thoughts logical explanation. If this seems difficult, imagine that next to you is your best girlfriend or boyfriend. How would they explain these thoughts? Write these explanations, even if they seem silly to you, he works late because he wants to improve, he put on his favorite pants, because he had an important presentation.
• Read everything you have written, focusing on logical explanations, and then write down how much you believe that your first thoughts are true. Take that logic statements, and your initial thought may be equally valid.
• Do not communicate with your partner until lower initial level of jealousy (in this example - nine), at least up to a point. Do not worry if at the moment when you come out of his hiding place, jealousy again reach nine points. Just congratulate yourself that you have become a little control of the situation in which you usually just explode, without thinking.
• If you still do not control yourself, go back and repeat the exercise again. If this does not work, go home, with or without a partner, and repeat the exercise at home.

Keep repeating the exercise. If you are very jealous, in the first few weeks will not have much effect. However, after a month you will notice small improvements. After two months, you will see significant changes. After three months, you'll be on the road to life, which are not jealous people. Continue to record your thoughts until you learn to do it in your mind. Over time, you'll be doing it unconsciously, automatically. Do not worry, you do not stop to see the real threat, you simply will not see it where it does not exist.

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