Marriage seems rosy when viewed from the outside, but inside is not only a source of joy, but many problems are often the most insignificant reasons. Please help fight this feeling, but gradually gives way to passion habit and domestic difficulties do not disappear. Someone finds constructive solutions to these problems, and someone is trying to forget about them in different ways, and in some cases might be cheating.

According to statistics, these "some cases" are very common: 41% of married couples one or both spouses change, and the average duration of an affair for two years. 31% of marriages saved after becoming aware of the change.

Psychology betrayal: why people change

By studying the various aspects of infidelity, psychologists predictably come to the conclusion that men and women change for various reasons. This difference is rooted in their different attitudes to sex: for women sex has more to do with deep relationships than entertainment, but in terms of male sex - is a way to have fun, and even just to relieve tension. It is not surprising that women change, to get attention, romantic experience strong emotions that are lacking in family life - and so they are more likely to start a long-term relationships outside the family. Men, by contrast, increasingly seeking sex one night, without obligation, and they can change a large number of men than women. This changes the man and woman with approximately the same frequency.

For example, in one study, 57% of men and 54% of women admitted that they have changed their regular partner or spouse. It is noted that in the past decade the number of women has increased significantly changing. This is probably due to the fact that the modern woman is not afraid of the consequences of divorce: she is not afraid of condemnation of society, as it would have been a century ago, no financial difficulties because most women work and can provide for themselves.

Some experts believe that the tendency to changes associated with certain personal characteristics. The following five factors associated with high or low probability that a person will change:

• Extraversion - extroverts are often driven by the desire for pleasure, including - sensual, plus they are easy to contact with other people, so they change more often than introverts;
• Emotional stability - the more emotionally stable man is, the less likely that he will change;
• Openness to new - for people with this trait may be cheating just a new, exciting experience;
• Selfishness - people who are not too concerned about the feelings of other people, have a high propensity to be changed;
• Self-esteem. Confident man with high self-esteem are more likely to change. For women, the reverse is true: the lower the self-esteem they have, the greater the likelihood of cheating.

  

What happens after infidelity

Consequences of betrayal can be devastating for everyone she somehow involved. The man who changed inevitably feels guilty; how it will affect his life depends on how conscientious is this man. The range is very wide: from weak pricks of conscience to such a strong regret that it sometimes leads to suicide attempts. If you become aware of the change, the one who changed, she feels betrayed, feels anger and depression.

Then follows a period of emotional detachment spouses, then they have to decide whether to stay together or not. If they decide to save the marriage, for quite a long time in their relationship will be ups and downs, and restore trust and rebuild a relationship will be difficult. Moreover, after prolonged efforts to preserve the marriage the couple often realize that they did not succeed, and yet decide to hang. And even if they continue to live together, often cheating remains the crack in the relationship, which, though not destroy them, but constantly reminds himself.

If a couple decides to divorce and change a spouse starts to live with his mistress or lover Lover: the real situation Often turns out that the new relationship does not live up to expectations: they were good only as a romance on the side. In addition, the lovers do not always trust people who leave the family, and do not want a serious relationship with them. Thus, both spouses may be a long time to be alone Loneliness - this is not new, or why am I still alone? That threaten various psychological and economic problems.

Signs of infidelity

People changing their spouses or partners could behave in very different ways, but in many cases you may notice some of the following signs of infidelity:

• New smells that you feel when the husband comes home, or when you get in his car;
• The husband tries to quietly go home, or go out - no goodbye or hello when he comes;
• Answering a call to your presence, the spouse often quickly hangs up, explaining that someone had the wrong number;
• The husband often goes into another room to talk on the phone or says that the call back later;
• Husband's lying about where he was, what, about their costs, and so on;
• Irritability spouse;
• Unfounded suspicions;
• Overly critical attitude to the partner, unpleasant and even cruel remarks in his address;
• Stormy reaction is not innocuous questions (eg, "How was your day?" "You were arrested at work?" And so on);
• Detachment in dealing with the spouse;
• Provocation quarrels, after which the husband for some time away from home;
• Rarer marital sex;
• More frequent marital sex - a paradox, but the novels on the side sometimes make people more likely to have sex with his legal wife;
• Demonstration of new "sexual talents";
• A sudden interest in the schedule spouse attempts to find out exactly when he or she comes home from work, go to training and so on;
• Increased attention to their appearance, which was not observed earlier. A person can, for example, to start intensive training, change the hairstyle, clothing style and even plastic surgery Plastic surgery ;
• The husband goes into the shower immediately after returning from a business meeting, birthday friend, and so on;
• New hobbies, for example, the new musical tastes or sudden interest in sports or the arts, to which people previously treated with indifference;
• The sharp increase in working hours.

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