Friendship between man and woman is constantly heated debates, the parties usually can not reach a consensus. Someone thinks that the friendship between them can not be, in principle, someone says that men and women may well be friends, and it turns out they are not worse than those of men with men and women with women. What actually happens when the representatives of different sexes for some reason does not appear a romantic relationship, but there is mutual sympathy, and they begin to talk just like that - without kisses, hugs, and walks under the moonlight?

Research intersexual friendship

Friendship between men and women has long been interested in psychologists and other professionals involved in the study of human behaviors. In 2000, two scientists have published a report about one of the best known and most detailed studies on this topic. They conducted a survey among university students about the advantages and disadvantages of friendship with the opposite sex. Both women and men to the benefits of this friendship attributed interesting dialogue, an opportunity to learn more about the features of the behavior of the opposite sex, increase self-esteem, social status (positive attitude to others to those who are friends of the opposite sex), psychological support from others . Among the shortcomings of men and women called jealousy Management of jealousy   by their partners, uncertainty about the status of relations, less attractive to other members of the opposite sex and, in some cases, unrequited love for another.

According to the results of the same survey, more men than women, the possibility of sexual or romantic relationship with a girlfriend as one of the advantages of intersexual friendship; women are more inclined to consider this aspect of the lack of friendship. When friendship is growing into sexual or romantic relationships, men often feel rejected, and to use, and more women were uncomfortable due to the fact that they can not reciprocate the feelings of his friend. On the other hand, if the friendship is still developed into a romantic or sexual, men are twice as likely than women who continued to call their friends "just friends" or friends with benefits.

The benefits of friendship with men, women are feeling physical security by the presence of each other, and the fact that male friends often paid for them during the joint campaigns in bars or restaurants. Many men considered it one of the drawbacks of intersexual friendship.

The results of this study allow us to conclude that men and women can be very different goals and expectations of friendship with the opposite sex .  Women usually do not like to have another male there waiting sexual or romantic nature, and men are not satisfied with what they have to spend time and money on his girlfriend, especially if it continues to consider their relationship as a friendship, while man wants more .  Thus, the problem of so-called "zone of friendship" or "zone of friendship with benefits" .  In the first case, the relationship is generally the most satisfied with a woman and a man feels used because it has a girlfriend friendly support, which it expects and thus it makes it clear that he should not count on something more .  The second option is most often do not like women, but men are quite satisfied with the friendship and sex without mutual obligations .  Of course, there may be others, though less common options: sometimes a woman hopelessly wants romantic and sexual relationship with another male, for whom she is just a friend, and sometimes a woman comfortable with casual sex, and the man wants her serious and permanent relationship .  However, in all these cases, friends are satisfied with their relationship in a very different degree .

How to build friendship between man and woman

From the above it can be concluded that real friendship between a man and a woman is practically impossible. In fact, to build strong friendships between the sexes is quite possible - at least in some cases.

• Be aware of the needs of a potential friend. For many people the characteristic only think about what you need by himself. Moreover, they can be absolutely confident that their needs are the most important and urgent, and needs of other people can wait. This logic is completely inapplicable for those who want to build true friendships. At the very beginning of a relationship you have to understand what you want from the other person: simple communication, a companion for trips to bars or jogging, sex, psychological support. It is equally important to honestly admit to yourself what you want to do from friendship.
• Talk about their intentions. From the beginning, quite frankly, what do you expect from friendship, and that is unacceptable for you. Just saying, if you are not interested in sex with a potential friend (do not be afraid to offend directness, in this case, honesty - the best policy), or if you are a man - what you pay for drinks and snacks Low calorie snacks   Only his girlfriend, and not "just a friend." Do not be afraid of frank conversations - more clearly than you bargained for aspects of your relationship, the less likely that your friendship will result in bitter disappointment. If it turns out that some aspects categorically not satisfied with one of you, the sooner it turns out, the better.
• Do not support the bad attitude. If you are in love with his friend, and he obviously does not respond to you in return, do not need to torture yourself and him, and preserve the relationships that have nothing to do with this friendship. Do not waste time and energy on the girl, in which you unrequited love, how not to and friendly with a man who wants you to do sex without commitment, if you consider it unacceptable. Friendship should bring joy, not nurture hope, which will not come true.

So is there a friendship between a man and a woman? In many cases, the answer will be negative. However, if you can be honest with yourself and with your friend will be able to focus on common interests and to overcome the difficulties that sometimes arise simply because of the differences between the sexes, it is possible that you will become fast friends, and will be a living example of what friendship between men and women still exists.

Related Articles

What is friendship - the brink of relations

Psychology of love - Interesting Facts

Female friendship: Features relations

As a declaration of love, and when it is better to do it