Most people give birth to a permanent relationship and marry, not only for sex, but the problem of sex can cause problems in a relationship, in general, and even cause them to collapse. A huge role in the relationship plays a close association, and sex - is one of the best ways no words to express your love, make it clear to the person that he is right and desirable.

Sex is not for nothing is often called proximity - it really helps to feel the intimacy, both physical and emotional; rich, high-quality sex life couples often indicates a high level of trust and understanding between the partners. When problems begin to have sex, it does not necessarily mean that the care of love, but it is a wake-up call.

Causes and Consequences

Problems with sex can occur for many reasons, the most common of those reasons are:

• Low libido in one or both partners;
• Severe disease;
• Pain and discomfort during intercourse;
• Impotence;
• Depression;
• Woe;
• Feeling guilty;
• Extreme fatigue;
• Excessive shyness;
• Psychological trauma related to sexuality;
• Stress;
• Anxiety;
• The inability to find a place and time to be alone - as a rule, this problem is a consequence of the difficult financial situation, and poor housing conditions;
• Treason;
• Poor hygiene;
• Bad breath;
• Changed feelings towards the partner;
• Taboo of a sexual nature, related to the culture and / or religion;
• Incompatibility between partners;
• Violation of gender identity - it is a rare problem, but if it exists, its consequences could be problems not only in sex, but also in other areas.

Sexually Problems can be caused by one or more of the above and other reasons. Most of these factors is mixed to a simple misunderstanding that can make the problem worse. For example, one partner may temporarily decrease libido because of extreme fatigue, and the other partner decides that the problem is in it, what happens inevitable - love is gone, and with it disappeared, and desire. If the partners do not talk about their concerns, problems only become worse, and in some cases they can be solved only with the help of a specialist.

The most common problems with sex are either very rare sexual acts (in extreme cases - their absence for a long time), or sex, it does not meet the needs of one or both partners. The consequences of these problems are depression, self-doubt, disappointment, frustration and anger. If the problem is not solved for a long time, the result of strong distress can become physical illness.

How to solve problems with sex

First you need to say that does not help to solve such problems:

• Trying to convince a partner to have sex more frequently;
• Compulsion (by the way, aggressive sexual coercion is unlawful, including in the marital relationship);
• Attempts to manipulate the partner;
• Ignoring the problem;
• The charges;
• Threats.

Any of these measures only exacerbate the problem and lead to the alienation of partners.

To find a solution to emerging problems in the sexual sphere, one must first understand the cause. If you suspect that the cause of the disease or become medication, consult a doctor. Any disease that affect the sexual sphere is not, should be treated immediately. Among the drugs that can lead to problems with sex - drugs for hypertension and antidepressants; If you or your partner are taking them, ask your doctor to review the dose or may assign another type of medication.

If you think that sexual disorders have personally associated with traumatic experiences from the past, refer to the psychologist. It does not matter how long ago the event occurred that caused the trauma - in the absence of skilled assistance it can, somehow, affect your life for years to come.

Frank talk with your partner .  If you find that it has decreased libido or have occurred in connection with the easy to solve problems (such as poor hygiene), do everything to eliminate them .  It is also worth thinking about how to change the image: new style, or getting rid of extra kilos often makes partners again to look at each other as lovers, and not as usual, and maybe a little boring people .  To open conversation to erupt into contention, first, get plenty of time to listen to each other when you have nothing and no distracting .  Turn off the TV, turn off the phone .  Talk where your children (if any) in the school, in kindergarten or asleep .  Second, arrange in advance that they will listen to each other without interrupting and non-judgmental .  It is difficult, but if you give vent to emotions, the conversation is unlikely to succeed in a constructive .  Third, if you criticize, criticize the individual characteristics and not the whole person .  This is especially important when discussing intimate issues .  For example, if a partner problems with hygiene, do not say "you're bad smell", but "I think you need to frequently wash and change shirts / socks" (it is very important to soften the blow also because men tend to be less sensitive to smells than women, and are often genuinely surprised when someone tells them to better monitor the hygiene) .  Be prepared themselves firmly to accept criticism .  Remember that your partner does not want to hurt you, he just wants to improve your relationship .

Finally, if you can not work together to find the cause of the problems appeared to have sex, see a psychologist who specializes in couples counseling.

Problems with sex FAQs

• Is it true that the problem of sex has recently become more common?

Clear answer to this question is difficult, but most likely - no, it only began to talk more often. Until relatively recently, it was believed that women do not necessarily enjoy sex, and this topic was taboo in general, so we can not say what percentage of couples were satisfied with their sex life at least a hundred, two hundred, or even fifty years ago. Today, the importance of sex openly acknowledges the associated problems are widely discussed, and so it seems that their number has increased.

Are couples in which sex is absent or very rare, less happy than couples who have sex regularly?

In general, yes. Most couples who consider themselves happy, have sex often enough sexual life brings satisfaction to both partners. But there are also couples who knowingly refuses to have sex (a pair of asexuals) who also consider their relationship very well.

• Increased likelihood of whether the divorce of married couples who have problems with sex?

Studies show that these couples often weighed the possibility of divorce, but you can not say for sure whether it is becoming a major cause of sexual problems for a final decision about divorce.

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