Not all divorces end in enmity. There are times when divorces occur peacefully and former spouses remain friends. However, some ex-wives sometimes take in the life of his former spouse more involved than one would like, but that does not mean that the new sweethearts need to sit quietly on the sidelines.

Assess the situation honestly

Decide exactly how often ex-wife comes to your home, call, write messages. Maybe she does not do it very often, and you exaggerate its presence in the life of your new family. If it interferes with your life every day, and sometimes more than once a day, it's not normal. Daily contact is permitted only in exceptional cases, such as if there is some problem, but not the norm. If his ex-wife gives to know about his presence once a month, or even once a week, think about what your feelings are more related to your attitude toward her and not with her behavior. Ask yourself, do you see in it some kind of threat, and try to find a reasonable justification for their feelings.

If you feel that your husband's ex-wife has become a part of your family, or what she calls him whenever she had a problem, you must set some limits .  Keep in mind that the establishment of the normal boundaries after divorce can take years, especially if two people are married for a long time .  No matter how long they have been married, or how long ago they divorced, if you think that your husband must set boundaries, let him understand .  Remember that first he may need your support, and some suggestions .  For example, you can show him that you do not want to spend with his ex-wife all holidays .  You can also tell him to find a good plumber for his ex-wife that she did not call him whenever she clogged sink .  The same applies to the repair, and other matters in which it can help the expert .  Be patient but persistent .

Be clear about what behavior is acceptable and what transcends

Give her husband's ex-wife to know that you are comfortable with, and what you will not tolerate. You need to make it very succinctly, and firmly adhere to the boundaries that you set. For example, if she always calls him, you may decide that it should not call if it is not for children.

If your husband have children, it is their father after the divorce. Therefore, it is common with the former wife children are forced to look at the situation from a different angle. You will have to accept the fact that between your husband and his ex-wife should be some communication regarding the children. The bad news is that children give his former wife an excuse to call and send messages to your husband, and she will always be able to say that she needed to talk to him about the children. Here you almost can not do anything, but your husband may establish a limit beyond which it should not go, that is not to deviate from the theme of the call. Let him know if you think it goes this line, and uses the children as an excuse to intervene in his life.

If your husband ignores your concern and does not want to hold you, setting some boundaries, your problem may be more serious than his ex-wife. If it seems that he is not ready to influence the behavior of his ex, even after you've told him, as you are concerned, you can try to come to terms with the situation, but do not let your resentment to spoil your relationship with your husband. Here you will be able to help a psychologist, or even a group of psychological support, where you can occasionally blow off steam. Otherwise, you run the risk of one day break. It is also possible that if you can restrain your husband, in the end, tired of what he bother, and he slam the door on his ex. Do not attempt, however, to set up the husband against his ex-wife, complaining about it, or out of jealousy Management of jealousy   manipulating his feelings towards her.

Many men and women during and after the divorce is so wounded past, that can not and do not want to find a common language. Your husband can speak about his ex-wife the most unflattering way, but you have to show respect and openness in relations with her. Remain neutral, and find out whether there are ways to establish peaceful relations. Perhaps your husband's hostility towards the former wife is based on emotions. You can try to be a voice of reason in their relationship. Remember that you and your husband - a unit, but you do not need to take a position against his ex-wife if his hostility is unfounded.

Do's and don'ts in dealing with her husband's ex-wife

• Be certain limits

Sometimes ex-wives want to make friends with the current wife. This in itself is not bad; However, we must be careful to ensure that its motives are pure, and it does not lead the game. Meet the ex-wife of her husband, before giving her a place in their lives and in the lives of your family. If it is a sincere man, do not present a danger to her your friendship and support can be useful to her or your children. If it is a person of another store, it is best to keep her at a distance.

• Do not meddle in other people's problems

Relationships in mixed families require wisdom and tact. Your husband may discuss any questions relating to his children from his ex-wife, without your participation. It is important that you allow him to communicate with the children so that they understand that they have two biological parents and step-mother. It is also important, so that he could communicate with his ex-wife so that they could both be good parents.

Decide for yourself what kind of relationship you want to establish with the ex-wife of her husband. If now the relations are hostile, maybe you just try to mingle peacefully with her to take children out of the house without her scathing comments. You may want you to have a trusting relationship so that you can call her and ask for advice. Determine what relationship to what you seek, you will act accordingly.

You all need to demonstrate good communication skills. It will require patience, kindness and a positive attitude. Ideally, such families can support each other, and all the children who are present. If you maintain a positive communication while establishing the necessary border, it will contribute to the success of your blended family.

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