Remarriage - that in itself is a frightening thing, but when a woman marries a man whose first wife died, it may annoy the problems and emotions, the root of which - in her imaginary competition with his late wife, as well as uncertainty about the place it takes in the heart of her husband. So marry the widower may not be so easy from a psychological point of view.

When two people marry, each of them takes Beret - a symbol of French charm   with their memories, their past, their unique life experience. A widow or widower are all in their new marriage, hoping that the result will be smooth. But without knowing the delicate features of grief, and what to expect from a man who is struggling with it, marry a widower may be a string of emotional ups and downs. But there is hope. Will some tips for women who are going to marry a widower.

Take the past: do not hide or run away from it

If you ignore the grief of her husband, it will not go anywhere. Rather, it is to some extent never cease to grieve, but time heals the pain. Living in denial of grief will only slow the healing process. It is better to develop a relationship in which each of you can talk about his grief, his past, and his late wife. Your feelings are as important as his feelings and, although generous on your part that you are adjusting to his grief, would not be wise to hide your problems. If you ignore them, they become irritated.

Make peace with the fact that your marriage will be three, not two

Split with her husband, love for another woman - not an easy task, but married to a widower you have to learn. Be sure that the love and grief are able to live in one heart, and love your husband's late wife never priumenshat his feelings for you.

To accept this, you need to understand that it has contributed to the formation of the character of your husband. Their love and marriage helped him become the man you love today.

Do not let personal things take away your peace

If you struggle with uncertainty about whether your husband to love you as much as he loved late wife, the photographs or personal items, reminiscent of their marriage, may become a problem for you.

Here we need respect, honesty and compromise. Decide together what things you are both willing to keep in the house, and some want to get rid of. Remember that both of you have memories that you cherish. Be sensitive to the feelings of the partner in deciding what things to keep at home.

Show respect for the feelings of the relatives of the deceased wife of your husband

Family dead wife can accept or reject you, but remember that they have experienced a great loss, and try to cope with their grief. They may fear that the memory of that which they loved, only to fade due to the fact that your husband decided to marry again, and will subconsciously blame you. If you are aware of their loss, it will be easier to forgive any negativity in your address. Be patient. Over time, they will respect what place you occupy in the life of her husband.

Do not allow the past to feel insecure

Was late wife beautiful, sexier, more fun to you? Maybe it is better prepared or better to know how to be friends? Comparisons, though natural, can strengthen your uncertainty.

Your husband married you, not because you are - an exact copy of his late wife. He is aware of the qualities for which you loved. You and his late wife - are two different people, and each of you is worthy of his love. Perhaps those traits that distinguish you from it, your husband finds very attractive.

Be prepared to take aspects related to grief

As much as you did not like a widower, it is not enough that he had forgotten his late wife. Time heals, at some point, the pain becomes bearable. But do not think that the memorable dates associated with the first marriage will take for your husband painless.

Perhaps he did not share it with you, because afraid to hurt your feelings. There are times when you have to be understanding. Love remind him that you understand the meaning of such dates for the husband, and that you are willing to listen to him, if he wants to share their feelings.

Set firm boundaries, but tact and understanding

Marriage to a widower does not consist of his grief. Your feelings are important too, and they deserve to be appreciated. Widower should not expect from a new wife, she will always be his "vest." He has to mentally draw a line between the past and the present, despite the fact that the past must be treated carefully. Firmly but gently discuss their difficulties with her husband and give him the opportunity to show the same attention to your needs, what you show is, his grief.

Learn all you can about the stages of grief, and what to expect from each of them

By the time of your wedding process of burning your husband will be mainly completed. However, like every man, suffered the loss, it will face regular outbursts of grief. Learn all about the stages of grief, and their impact, to understand how it will periodically appear in your marriage.

Do not be afraid to ask for help if you are feeling a widower very frustrating

Perhaps you and your husband talked about his past, about his late wife, and his feelings, and these conversations have brought comfort to both of you. However, at times you may feel invisible presence of his dead wife of your husband, and you need support and encouragement.

In some moments of a new wife, a widower, is constantly experiencing downward pressure because of his position, is absolutely necessary to get the help of a psychologist, cleric or other wife widower. Sometimes the first step to healing emotions is impartial assessment of your emotions the other person.

Live in the present and face the future, making every day of your life unique

It is important to create, together with her husband, new memories, which are something special just for the two of you, who have nothing to do with his first marriage and his late wife.

Plan to travel to interesting places in which none of you have never been. Keeping the old traditions, create your own, which will be unique to your marriage. Make repairs, at least in the same room, or buy a new home, which will be associated only with your marriage.

You can not change the past, but you can understand, accept and respect his memory, without bringing at the same time to sacrifice their present and future.

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