At that time, when a woman says in the registry office cherished: "I agree," she receives not only her husband, but also several new relatives. As a rule, most problems can be associated with her husband's mother - a woman who may still have the wedding gazed into the future daughter-in, searching for its shortcomings, which, in its opinion, could lead to problems in the family life of her beloved son. Daughter in law, for its part, rightly considers that the problems it can cause interference with their family life of third parties. When two people marry, become parents also those "third parties" - although along with this it is very difficult.

What daughter would like to say to your mother in law, but never say

• Enough to keep her son from her skirt. He grew up, became a man, earned on an independent life, started a family. Sometimes all that is not enough to realize that his son is now - an independent personality. Women who can not let go of their sons to float freely, often perceived as an enemy of the daughter, who finally takes the son of the family, and because of which his mother ceased to be the main woman in his life. This is - a manifestation of selfishness, not a mother's love. From the very inception of the new man in the world must remember that he was not born to be forever near their parents, and to become an independent person to find their way to create a family. So you just have to wish her son and daughter happy life, and do not try to manipulate an adult man.
• Do not criticize daughter. It is better to praise her. Your son chose this woman, and he brought you, so his choice to some extent due to your influence, and criticizing it, and you criticize yourself. It is necessary to make an effort, and to see her daughter in something good - maybe it perfectly prepares, keeps the house in perfect order, a beneficial effect on your son?
• Do not give unsolicited advice. This is - almost a cry for help from millions of daughters, in-laws that In-law - a hunting accident ...   give advice on any matter, and often for no reason, and it is not interested in whether any of these tips. It is appropriate to recall two of wisdom: "Do unto others as you want them to do unto you," and "the road to hell is paved with good intentions." Do you like unsolicited advice? It is unlikely that they generally like someone, and your daughter are probably not needed. And even if you sincerely want the good son of the family and want to be better, remember that the "best way" for you, for other people might not be better.
• Take your daughter for what it is. Remember that it is not as educated as you, and she can not - and must not - do everything the way you do. Do not try to change it - such attempts give her feel that it corresponds somehow to your standards, you think, deep down, that her son did not the best choice, but it does not promote warm relations in the family.
• Remember that your son has never been perfect. If, after the wedding, he has not changed for the better, do not think that is the fault of the bride - after all, in the nature of man does not appear anything new, just under the influence of external or internal circumstances of some of its features are becoming more and more - less visible.
• Recommendations for child-rearing? No thanks. It is hardly in the world there is a woman who believes that her daughter-rightly raise their children. However, in the process of education all make mistakes, and even people who have raised more than one child, can hardly be considered great gurus with this issue.
• Passive aggression - is still aggression. And it should not be allowed. What is passive aggression? For example, you know that, because your daughter-in works with your son, they cook and clean at a time, and often order a pizza home Pizza: features Italian cuisine   or eat prepared foods, as they have little free time. During a family dinner, though casually, you talk as you always have time to cook for her husband, and your house was not a speck of dust. This behavior, when you do not explicitly criticize anyone, yet perceived as aggressive, because everyone understands what and who they are.
• Do not come to visit without an invitation. What you - one family, does not mean that the daughter and her husband are ready to receive you at any time, detracting from their cases. When people come home after work, they want to be sure that they will not be disturbed without their consent. The more that thanks to modern technology to indicate their intention to come to visit easy.
• Do not ask the daughter to call you mom. For most people, the word "mother" - one of the most expensive, of those who can not pronounce, referring to someone else, except for one woman. You can become the enemy of the daughter, a friend, just one of the relatives, but you can not be close to her is the same as my mother. Exceptions occur, but they only prove the rule.

How to become an ideal daughter-in

• Regular call-in-law

Even if it did not interfere in the affairs of your family, it is still wondering how things are going at her son, daughter and grandchildren. If the mother-friendly with modern technologies, communicate with her by e-mail, Skype and social networks. If you have a little free time, you do not need to talk in detail about their affairs, but at least once every one to two weeks worth of calls to exchange a few words.

• Congratulate her with important holidays

On her birthday, the anniversary of her wedding with the father of your husband (if they are still married), the eighth of March. If you have such an opportunity, send in-law flowers and cards and sign their two names - yours and her husband - because the children often forget about the importance to their mothers' choice (but you probably already know that men do not remember important dates).

• Ask the mother-in-Council

Often in-law begin to give a lot of unwanted advice, since his feeling useless grown children. To avoid this, do not ask the Council for yourself and do it often. If you have no reason to ask for advice, think of it. For example, call her to ask how many eggs you need to cook pancakes for a family of four, or how often you need to water the cactus in the winter. Even if you know the answers to these questions, it would be nice that you are interested in her opinion.

• Ask in-law to sit with the kids, but do not overdo it using

Typically, mother-coddled happy with their grandchildren, but only if they ask for it too often. If you need to leave with someone the child several times a week, it is better to hire a professional nanny: have your mother in law have their own hobbies, friends, his own life, from which she did not want to give up.

• Do-law compliments

Tell her what she raised a wonderful son. These words have a magical effect on women, they can cause tears of happiness, and indeed, it is hard to imagine a nicer compliment Compliments . In addition, regularly praise the way she looks, prepares its crafts, its flowers, its interior, its erudition. Quite possibly, it will begin to pay you in the same coin, and your relationship will increasingly resemble a real idyll.

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