Most people love their relatives, at least some of them. However, that does not stop to recognize that sometimes the communication with them turns into torture. Unfortunately, many people can not understand, it's not worth bothering their home unsolicited advice and insistent questions on personal matters. When a beloved grandmother or aunt for the thousandth time interested in your personal life, you want to forget about the ties of kinship and say what you think of curious relatives. How to communicate with relatives?

Do you know why the holidays bring us not only joy, but also a lot of stress? It's not just a big waste, and crowds of people in the shops and on the streets. On top of all the holidays, many people meet with their relatives, and often go to visit them, spending a few days under one roof. It becomes a difficult challenge for millions of people whose relatives do not know what personal boundaries, tact and restraint. How to deal with the most unpleasant species of relatives, without spoiling the relationship, and minimizing the damage to their nerve cells?

A man who spoils

This is the man who more than once or twice said that it was as good as he is not spoiled. In fact, it can be a good and very nice person, but at some point - in most cases, in a state of intoxication - he would say careless word or do anything, which is why start a quarrel or fight. Usually I associate with him simply and pleasantly - as a rule, it is unobtrusive, does not come without an invitation and not climbing with tips. However, if you invite him to a family meal, you need to take preventive measures.

Tell him that you like about him (with him so much fun, and the kids love it), and then ask him not to drink when he will be in your party, as he remembers what because of this get into trouble. Do not hurt him, but expresses clearly - he should understand what you want from a normal behavior. If he still offended, take a deep breath and try as calmly as possible to repeat what you have said. If the answer is relative to say that if so, he does not come, tell him that everyone will miss him very much, but that's his choice. You may be afraid to damage the relationship with this person, but if you do not set clear boundaries for him admissible, it thereby show that consider it acceptable behavior and unpleasant incidents with his participation will be repeated again and again.

"Bulldozer"

Relative of this type can be recognized by authoritative demeanor and commanding voice. He or she will always know exactly how and what to do, others require complete obedience and eliminate interference in its path with the delicacy of a bulldozer whose brakes failed. Rodstvennikam- "bulldozers" unknown tact, they do not listen to others, without thinking for a minute, interrupt and start talking loudly about her, advise commanding manner and, most worryingly, they are doing all this because I wish you good. For this reason, and also because they are still your family, with them we have to maintain a relationship, but to communicate with them is very difficult.

In dealing with the "bulldozing" must be firm and the right to use sign language Sign Language . Try otzerkalivat posture, gestures, facial expressions, intonation, even people - to emulate them, but so that it was not like mimicry. On a subconscious level people who "otzerkalivaet" other, perceived as friendly, "your" and it is easier to accept. In no case do not start arguing with a relative of this type in a raised voice - in a dispute chances are only the same human bulldozer. Stay calm and let them know that you have heard it, but I still do on its own. For example, you realize that he thinks it is necessary to put the table to the window. But from your point of view, it should stand where necessary.

Critic

Most people find at least one relative of this type, but often they can be more. The critic always finds faults in everything and never they are not silent. Impossible to please Him, for he often changing tastes. The last time critic said that should not have to use strawberries to decorate the cake, this time you specially decorated cake other berries, and he saw in the afternoon that the cake is not bad, but with strawberries, he would have been even better. And it is the most harmless example of fault-finding critic. These relatives may criticize everything from the area in which you live, to your child-rearing practices, hairstyles and a few extra kilos, which, as it seems, you have appeared since your last meeting.

The first rule of communication with relatives, critics do not take what they say to heart. In general, do not take their words seriously, these people really do not want to give advice for your own sake - they are just trying to attract attention and appear more intelligent than they really are. Just agree with everything that the critics say, keeping quiet and friendly facial expression. He gets bored when his remarks are not trying to challenge, and his attention shifts to something else. You can and does prevent the critics: as soon as he comes in to your home, gently warned him that he was sure something like it, because you do not have such culinary and design talent like his. After that, he certainly did not just praise your meals, atmosphere, hairstyle, just to show you that you were wrong.

Examiner

Such relative can really understand something, and it may appear worthy ideas. He's smarter and delicate "bulldozer" and does not pretend to know everything about everything - there are several areas in which he knows, but when it comes to them, he makes decisions alone, without even asking for the opinion of others. For example, if your relative expert - an interior designer, it may on its own initiative to make a permutation in your living room, in the kitchen while you finish cooking the festive dinner.

Try to get an expert to think about why it is not necessary to do so; for example, ask him, he would have liked, if you rearrange the furniture without permission in his home? Do it as gently as possible, otherwise he would be offended, but you'll feel guilty. Alternatively, you can tell the expert that he is, of course, did everything perfectly, but you like the interior, which you have created yourself. To prevent trouble, you can just give the expert mission to its parts: for example, place the dish on the table, folded napkins and so on.

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