For a person to express their anger - this is normal and even salutary. In childhood, intensity and ways of expressing anger are changing in different periods, but the baby is not yet able to control neither the force of his anger, no way, and its impact on others. Gradually, the child learns to do it from their parents, teachers, nurses, in particular, to keep their emotions under control, to correlate the effect of anger, depending on the desired result. But this is possible only if you, the parent, will give him the necessary role models and landmarks. To do this, you need at the outset to define clear boundaries.

It's not that we need to conduct a long speech with the child, on the contrary, it all depends on the credibility and strength that sound in your voice, in your actions, which will be key moments of a successful resolution of the problem of children's tantrums. These rules need to identify those who will be the main needs, as well as those that can be called optional, optional, situational.

Symbol boundaries

Things that can not be used: force, threat. If the child hysterics, screaming can not be him, "Out of sight! You do besish, you're awesome! ". Similar phrases instill guilt, can greatly hurt, and it's not that way, which is to resort to calm the child.

You have to be confident and to express their dissatisfaction clearly and emphatically that the child realized the need to follow the rules set by you.

To do this, make sure he knows who is the main house, and that he's not trying to command and set their own rules. When a child's tantrum, try to manage the conflict, when it breaks out. But mothers should never tell a child, for example, things like: "I'll tell your father what you did, when he comes home in the evening and he flog you! ".

For a child to feel very anxious that his parents are not able to tell him "no" and going on what he had expected, his tantrums and cries allow him to achieve his goal. Then the child feels that his parents are not strong enough, begins to feel insecure, and this gives rise to strong bursts of anxiety, which can also cause sleep disorders.

Marking the boundaries for the child is safer than intimidation and threat, because it borders are signals behavior.

If a child falls into a tantrum, you need to wait a little longer, postponing the moment of conversation. To speak with him better when he is calm, because at this moment he is attentive and will be able to listen to what you say to him. If accompanied by a hysterical crying, sobbing, outbursts of anger, most likely it will stop soon. If a child begins to hurt myself, for example, beats his head on the floor - it requires immediate intervention of an adult. This behavior is explained by the fact that the child is trying to gain support and to find their place in the family. And in this case, parents should definitely give it a sense of usefulness and safety.

Good example: take care of yourself

If a child tries to hit, bite, it, too, search for the boundaries of behavior, but more complex. A child who is between 1 and 5 to 3 years completely gives your body the power of their feelings, and anger can go beyond becoming hysteria.

Imagine every day you forbid your child to touch the plate, and you show it to the eyes, the hands, which can also simulate an imaginary slap on the ass as a punishment in case of disobedience. The child learns very well these gestures, which he relates to your control over it. Later, when he suddenly begins to beat you, bite, thus he tries to put pressure on you, using your gestures, that he had learned. Of course, it does not always correctly interpret them.

Remember that your primary in this case the role of both parents - to guide the child through the words correctly explained to him that you feel, why you're angry, and try by all means to refrain from gestures and, especially, the battering that the child did not take this example for myself.

The subtlety here is two things: the right to convey the message of the child, using simple words that emphasize the significance of the situation. But so it is necessary that the child perceives these words are not the law of the strongest, but as a rule, to be followed by all members of the family. The second point - is the application of the rules for themselves, including, for the child to become a good guide.

What could be more logical than to do what Mom and Dad? The child may think, "If my parents behave like tyrants, imposing my own rules, although they do not adhere to them, especially since they are already great, why should I do it? "Therefore, be assertive, clear and serve a good example. Look into the eyes of a child when explaining something to him.

A few key phrases that can help with the children's hysteria:

• I understand that you disagree with me, but what you are doing is unacceptable!
• Stop! In another way it will not be! I'm not going to discuss it with you!

If the child does not calm down, for example, due to the fact that you have raised it a voice, we can say the following:

• I'm nervous because of your whims. But know that you are my child and I love you and will love you, no matter what happens.

The child should soon settle down and you sigh quietly.

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