Psychology of relationships: how not to lose the love

Psychology of relationships: how not to lose the love
how to make a man happy

psychology of relationships Many people all his life, consciously or not, look for it, aspire and dream about it. It is called the great joy and immense suffering, it is impossible to describe, but not to talk about it, too, is almost impossible. This is Love. It is complex and ambiguous, it beckons and experience it at least once - and even scary. Often in dreams, she is much more beautiful than in reality. Psychology relationship is quite complex. Finding love, people often find that relations are so bright at first, over time, begin to fade, and worse - to disappoint. Why and how do we fall in love, and how to keep the relationship fresh and vivid, even after many years after the first kisses and confessions?

How the human brain falls

Usually love begins in the initial attraction, when you see a person and before the time to understand what is happening, feel uplifted, and the heart begins to beat faster.

Studies have shown that when a person falls in love, his brain strenuously produces oxytocin, dopamine and phenylethylamine - they play an important role in the behavior and experiences of the person associated with love. In its effects, these substances are similar to amphetamines - they excite, give strength to cause mild euphoria.

Scientists say that love - is not so much an emotion as motivation motivation associated with the work of the so-called reward system of the brain. Indeed, the brain is actively encouraging love - precisely because of this attraction to another person connected with such strong physiological responses. In love with a man raises the energy level, the focus narrows consciousness, sweaty palms Sweaty palms: Causes and Treatments , There is a slight dizziness, quickens the pulse. If the feelings are mutual, and the couple begins to spend time together, both feel something like love euphoria.

A man who had recently fallen in love, sees the world through the prism of his love, and it seems to him that all his great partner, and it can overcome any difficulties associated with their relationship.

According to many psychologists have love relationships couple has three main components: intimacy, passion and commitment. Closeness - this emotional bond formed between the partners, passion - it is aspects of the relationship, are directly related to sexual desire, and under the obligations implied in the short term, the decision of couples to stay together, but in the long term - the general plans and objectives set by the vapor rather than each half of it separately. Relations have become increasingly close, if both partners feel a deep relationship and affection for each other, and if the relationship of their physiological needs are met. Some experts say that oxytocin, which is produced in the brain during orgasm, promotes not only the emergence of love, but also to strengthen the relationship between partners.

Why is love goes?

One of the most common reasons that a loving relationship is often painful end in tears, is the false representations of people about what should be the best relationship . Often people think that relations should constantly raging passion, and if it does not, then love is no more, and can not be . In addition, many believe that true love will always be bright and fresh, without any effort on the part of partners, and if it is not, then love is simply not true . With such stereotypes imposed by the film industry and literature, it is better to say goodbye as soon as possible . In the real world relationships change over time - it is absolutely normal . In addition, the need to work on a relationship; If you do not, even the most passionate love does not last long . Often, the love does not pass, and we are destroying her own ideas about "how to be", depriving themselves of the opportunity to enjoy the unique relationship that can arise in each pair . Regularly communicate with your partner to maintain a close relationship, to see how it changes over time, and to tell him that the changes you . The only way you will be able to develop a relationship, and not to drive them to a dead end .

Terms of full-fledged relations

Trust each other and value the trust. Always let the partner speak and do not interrupt him, even if it means you have to close your mouth. He must know that you will hear it, whatsoever. Learn to fight fair. When you quarrel, do not call, do not hit where it hurts (it can be a partner complexes, the facts of the past, and so on), do not threaten, not to mention his family or friends. If you feel you need to apologize - apologize. If you're too angry to continue the conversation, go away to another room or go for a walk, after informing the partner you need to calm down. Never forget: your partner - not your enemy, and your task - not to make it as painfully as possible, and resolve the issue.
Separate facts from feelings. Think about why you react that way to those or other actions or words of a partner? Maybe he did not mean to hurt you, and it's in your past there is something, which is why you are too emotionally react to, in general, harmless things? For example, if your partner has forgotten the anniversary of your relationship - this event is really so awful that because this is wrong, and to make a scene? Or is it that at a certain stage of life you are acutely aware that you do not get enough attention, and is now trying to compensate for this? When you begin to understand why react to certain things in a certain way, you'll notice that many of the facts give rise to a completely disproportionate emotional reactions and learn to react calmly and avoid many conflicts.
Do not judge, and sympathy. Conviction puts in your mind insurmountable obstacles. When you condemn the act (or - even worse - the person) - you put a stamp on it (bad, disgusting, terrible), and subconsciously think that the case is closed - verdict is all as clear as day. When you sympathize, you try to put yourself in a partner, and understand the true reasons for his action. It is much more difficult than to judge, but the only way you can create a really deep, trusting relationship.
Create a "we", consisting of two "I". Full relations can only be between people who are together but remain conscious individuals. No need to strive to become one; it just sounds good, in practice it leads to interdependence, which is a sure sign of the sick relationship. Healthy, full personality does not seek to depend on someone else. You and your partner do not have to be in all alike, have the same views on all issues and share the same enthusiasm. You should only be able to quickly find a compromise - for the happiness that is enough. The differences between you - this is your strength, not a weakness: they often help to maintain the fire that extinguished in so many pairs.
Ask questions when you do something not sure. Very often we interpret the actions of their own partner, believing that we have the right to do, because we know him well. For example, if a partner after work began to devote more time to training than a tender embrace with loved watching television, many women decide that his feelings fade. In fact, he might have noticed that he appeared fat deposition, and wants to keep fit, do not cease to please his partner. Such examples are thousands, but one conclusion: ask if you do something not sure - unless, of course, you can not read minds.