Marriage has long been and remains one of the most important moments in the relationship of two. The birth of a new family is always accompanied by a variety of rituals, perhaps the most important of which is the suit. This rite this day special attention, although modern matchmaking script has little in common with the traditional.

As previously wooed

Today's young people are free to decide about marriage and only notify the decision of the parents. In ancient times it was different. If the groom did not inspire confidence in the father and mother of the bride, they just could expose the matchmakers of the door, he did not ask the opinion of his daughter. Not surprisingly, a matchmaking treated as a very important stage on which depended the happiness of the young.

Traditionally, the groom informed of its intention to link their fate with his beloved parents and godfather. Those blessed young man, and were sent to the home of his beloved matchmakers. In this role could act godparents, at least - friends of the groom.

For example, before you enter the house, the two men had to sit down on a chair in front of the house, its legs were bandaged. After that, the two men spoke the ritual phrase: "You have the goods, we have a merchant! ".

In the house of the bride's parents in-laws start talking about abstract topics, gradually moving to the most important - the purpose of his visit. They tried to praise the bride, presenting it with the best side. Bride at that time was in the same room, but did not participate in the conversation, and was occupied by the case - for example, to shovel the ash out of the oven, with his back to Swat. If the bride's parents persuaded that the best candidates for the hand of their daughter does not exist, all sat down at the negotiating table. Matchmakers were interested, in turn, merits a bride and her dowry happened acquaintance of young parents.

Sometimes the young men did not send matchmakers, and asked for the hands of his beloved with her parents on their own. Some democratic parents allowed their daughters to themselves and to take a final decision. In this case, the groom touted favorite loaf (in some regions - Gingerbread), and to consent to the wedding of a girl was enough to taste a piece of food, and then with the groom cut to pieces, and all those present.

Modern matchmaking

In our time, the procedure is much simplified matchmaking. In most cases, the decision is taken about the wedding the young and the parents on both sides only bless them. Now third parties for courtship is rarely involved, modern grooms excellent job on their own.

The young person needs to dress elegantly and buy two bouquets: for the bride and future mother in law. Traditionally, the bride's mother offered a lush and expensive bouquet. He handed bouquets bride should ask parents daughter hand of his beloved. This is quite appropriate self-promotion, a short story about how wonderful is man as a husband, and how well he will treat his wife.

If parents agree to the marriage, they put his right hand in the hand of his daughter's future in-law - the suit took place. You can then move on to discuss the wedding date, place of her conduct and to address various financial issues. If the bride and groom are still young, the cost of a wedding is often borne by their parents. In this case, the right to choose the place and time of the celebration also belongs to the older generation, although the opinion of young, of course, is also taken into account. Conversely, if the young alone pay their wedding, their parents should not insist on their options for the celebration.

How to behave groom

The modern courtship ritual sufficient conditions: the groom can not be afraid that he will be denied. And yet, if it is decided to keep up appearances, and ask for the hand of his bride from her parents, it does not neglect the rules of etiquette. So, you need to buy flowers and dress appropriately. In no case can not be a sudden, without warning.

Of course, we should not be drunk in the house of his beloved, though with a bottle of champagne is quite possible to seize, to mark the festive moment. Since the theory still exists the probability of failure, champagne for the time to hide and get better only when the parent will receive a formal blessing. In some cases, you can bring with you and treat - as a ritual (large heart-shaped cake or loaf), and it is a secular (cake, candy, pastries).

If the groom himself is difficult to choose the appropriate words to talk about its virtues, is still recourse to the matchmakers, the role of which can act, for example, his parents. Of course, if the bride has already crossed the thirty-year milestone, it is best to woo their own, but really young people help in such a sensitive issue can be useful.

What bride?

The task of the bride - his parents prepare in advance for matchmaking. This will be good hint of the older generation that is required of them. If it is decided to meet matchmakers lavishly set table, a girl, it is desirable to take an active part in its preparation.

If the groom was with his parents, that while there is a courtship, the bride is better off under the pretext of another room. When parents listen matchmakers and future son in law, they will call her daughter. If the groom came alone, she can stay in the same room, but take a back seat - not to interfere with the conversation, not to comment on the words of the groom, not to participate in the discussion of possible financial problems.

Maria Bykov

Related Articles

Bride price: Russian tradition and world practice

Matchmaking

Courtship as a ritual: tradition and modernity

Bachelorette party before the wedding: tradition and modernity