More recently, a three-year kid was cute and obedient, and now he is stubborn about everything and categorically does not want to listen to? With such an encounter almost all of the parents. Some children experience this period of relative calm, others are driven to despair of parents and educators amazing stubbornness. In any case, the crisis of three years is a mandatory step in the formation of the child.

What happens to the baby?

Three years - quite conventional boundary separating early age from preschool. This period is characterized by a change in the child's personality. The process of gradual distancing of the child from the mother. Baby becomes aware of itself individual, which can have their own views and aspirations that do not always coincide with the views and aspirations of parents.

Of course, such a crisis does not start in strict third birthday crumbs, some children begin to seek independence as early as two years, while others dare to express their desires only to four years. Age crisis can occur with varying degrees of intensity. It usually lasts a few months, during which time the child wins back its right to independence. The child develop such qualities as activity and initiative, he learns to establish deeper relationships with adults and peers.

The main manifestations

Age crisis three years is usually manifested by a complex of symptoms. These symptoms include:

• Negativism, that is, the desire to do the opposite, even if such a course of action disadvantageous to the child. For example, a child may refuse to march to the circus or to visit if angry adult who offers this campaign;
• Depreciation. What used to be a street child ceases to be meaningful for him. So, the baby may begin to be rude to his parents and break the first favorite toy;
• Stubbornness. The child insists on and can not give up his claim, even if the circumstances have changed. For example, a child may require that his father took him to the park, even if the weather turned bad on the street;
• Willfulness. The desire to act independently, taking the initiative, which may be inadequate capacity of the child;
• Bunt. The child rebels against the constraints (objective or perceived), trying to expand the boundaries of their freedom. This rebellion can take and rather unpleasant forms, such as tantrums a large gathering of people.

My upbringing in the family and the crisis of three years

As a rule, the crisis three years, almost imperceptibly passes in children whose parents prefer democratic parenting style and give your children a certain freedom. Of course, without moods and manifestations of negativism can not do, but on the whole this difficult period much easier to survive the children whose parents have the flexibility and desire to encourage children to be independent.

More difficult is the case in families where there is practiced an authoritarian parenting style. Authoritarian parents do not respect the person of the child and requires obedience. Three year olds are protesting against this situation and strive to do things the other way around. This confrontation leads to the fact that sooner or later a child surrenders, loses contact with adults or waits case when able to prove their independence.

If a family to take care of children adopted much the crisis of three years is also being difficult. Giperopekayuschie parents surround the child with care and do not let him take a step alone: ​​he is so small, be sure to make a mistake and get into trouble. As a result, the baby is not possible to learn from their mistakes and be proud of their own achievements, because for him all make mom, dad and grandparents. In three years, most children begin to protest against this state of affairs by means of moods, stubbornness, and even despotism. As a rule, in the fight win adults and a child resigned to fate ward silly little chap before adolescence.

What should parents do?

Three-year children are intolerable, but, like all age crises, this period will not last forever. The sooner the parents come to terms with the fact that their child - an independent person with the desires, the easier it will be the first crisis of growing baby.

Psychologists advise parents three years old as much as possible to give the child the opportunity to make a decision and choose. The three-year child is well able to decide what color shirt to wear, what to eat porridge for breakfast and a cartoon look. You should not categorically tell a child what to do. Much better to simply announce what action is expected of him and at the same time to give him some freedom in how he will implement these actions. For example, instead of the order "immediately to sleep! "You can ask the kid as it is more convenient to do: first, to change into pajamas, and then brush your teeth, or vice versa.

Sometimes mothers are advised to act on the contrary, that is, requiring the child of adverse effects to their sense of contradiction child behaved exactly as needed. But, in doing so, parents have themselves a disservice. A child very quickly gets used not to take seriously the requirements of parents - because they are still from these requirements easily retreat. In addition, the period of obstinacy will not last forever, and over time the baby will begin to understand their own benefit and to suspect that he cheated adults.

Coping with the obstinacy of a baby can be, if you turn ordinary things in an exciting game. Unwilling to remove the child before bedtime toys with pleasure can join in the game of "who will collect all the cubes."

If your baby comfortable with hysteria, stomping his feet and lying on the floor, often the first impulse of the parents is to perform all the desires of a small arm, if only he would stop behaving in this way. But it is much more efficient and easy to deny a child to turn its attention is not something else: without spectators baby calms down quickly, and it will be possible to talk constructively.

Maria Bykov

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