- Transition age: how to help the young person?
- Features
In the life of every person in crisis, when circumstances forced him to change the usual style of behavior - to grow. Teens in Crisis usually takes the most painful. Transitional age - the conversion of the child in the adult, and the life, character and worldview teenager vary so much that few who survive this period easily.
What's happening?
Transition age is characterized by significant changes in many spheres of life of a teenager. Begins puberty: there are secondary sexual characteristics, changing body shape, voice breaks the boys, the girls come menstruation. Hormonal imbalance leads to problems with the skin, which in turn become a source of tension for yesterday's children.
The psyche is also undergoing major changes. Teenager thinks like an adult, but is not yet ready to adopt adult behaviors: it defends its independence, but it is still dependent on adults. Young men and women are desperate for recognition among peers and sometimes make quite unexpected things, to receive this recognition.
Teens are protesting against the way of life of their parents and against the norms that have recently dutifully accepted, considering the only true. There are youth subcultures. Some of them are kind of different ideologies, others are merely a manifestation of the desire for originality.
The teenager and his family
Parents become very difficult to communicate with their children the grown: in the recent past, obedient kids turn into hairy teens who are ready to do everything out of spite, but do not think about the consequences of their actions. Teens loudly proclaim that they do not owe anything to anyone, but continue to believe that the parents they still have something. Of course, not all fathers and mothers willing to put up with this position, so families have conflicts.
It leads to conflicts and the struggle for the independence of a teenager. The child needs to be stopped to control, but it is not yet ready to take responsibility for their actions. Parents already difficult to manage their child, and agree with your teen can be difficult, especially if it previously did not teach. The struggle for independence can take quite strange in terms of the adult form, for example, a teenager can demonstrate their "maturity" of smoking, use of drugs or alcohol.
Teenagers are also very critical and very suggestible. At the same time they show the criticality with respect to what parents tell them. But some said their peers or other adults is seen as the ultimate truth, without thought and criticism. This trend is also found in the parents understanding and approval.
Take care in advance
We know that the hardest transition age affects the families that adopted a dictatorial style of parenting. If parents require the child's years of unconditional submission, it is difficult to reconcile with those who want a child of their own decisions. And when you consider that the experience of independent decision-making at the teenager in such families is simply not the case, no wonder that he makes a lot of mistakes, growing up.
To prepare for the transition to adulthood is a child. The child needs to be taught to think, to reason, to be responsible for their actions: if there is a chance that even in adolescence, he will not blindly copy other people's behaviors, and will make decisions on their own. It is desirable from an early age to explain to the kid all prohibitions and restrictions, and not require him unquestioning obedience.
It is necessary to pre-prepare the child for adulthood. If your teenager will have all the necessary information about what is happening to his body, it will be easier to survive the changes. However, a publication for teens should be taken carefully: many of them are promoting dubious value. So before you give another son or daughter, "the encyclopedia for a teenager," should examine the book yourself. Unfortunately, many of these books are illiterate or just harmful. The same can be said about the resources on the Internet.
How to deal with a teenager
No clear temporal boundaries of adolescence there. Adolescent crisis has traditionally been considered the age of thirteen, but some awkward age begins and nine, and some - only fifteen. Someone going through this period relatively painless, at others he runs hard. It is important to bear in mind that no matter how difficult at this time to parents, to the teenager falls even harder. Therefore, the main task of the fathers and mothers: his offspring to facilitate the process of entry into adulthood.
Teens need respect, they want to be perceived as adults. Parents should abandon the rigid authoritarian stance and try to deal with grown children on an equal footing, not ordering them, and advising. It is important for the adolescent to inform that for their own decisions, he is responsible himself. Of course, in a critical situation, the parents come to the rescue, but the future adult must learn on their own responsibility for their actions, words and choices.
Teenagers are very sensitive to ridicule: Do not laugh at the fact that they hold dear, no matter how absurd thing did not seem to drag the child to an adult. Little by little, you need to loosen control over a child growing up, learning to trust him. Of course, you first need to warn his son or daughter, informing him of the possible consequences of its decisions. We should make every effort to understand their children, and then there is a possibility that the test puberty whole family pass with flying colors.
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